First Day of Preschool!

Believe it or not (I choose not), my precious little Rock Star, "Baby Chase," began his first day of preschool. I am so full of emotions right now -- mostly feeling grateful, blessed, thankful... I can't believe that this day finally arrived! When you're told that your unborn baby would be born with half a heart and would die without 3 heart surgeries in their first 3-4 years of life, you don't have the luxury of imagining their first birthday, much less their first day of school. God has been SO GOOD.

I was VERY nervous about how he'd do. The ONLY time he's ever been outside of my, hubs', my mom's or my in-laws' care is when he attends his nursery/class at church. That's it. Every other moment of his life outside of church class he's been in my/hubs' care, a few select family members' care, or the care of an anesthesiologist and surgeon during one of his 9 surgeries/procedures.

Whoa.

He'd usually do great with his church class, up until a few weeks ago anyway. We were called to come get him from his class a few weeks ago and he WILL.NOT.GO.BACK. He straight up refuses, kicking and screaming, and there's no way we will ever get him back in that classroom. Nor do we want to. Obviously something left an impression and we have no choice but to move on. I tell you this only to say that his last/most recent experience with "going to class" has been extremely negative.

{{Insert my overwhelming concern for his first day of school here.}}

So the day finally arrived and I was NERVOUS. I had to wake him up, which (like his mommy) usually isn't a good thing. But to my surprise he jumped up out of bed and was super excited about his first day of school. We got through breakfast, getting dressed, brushing teeth and even... wait for it... brushing his hair. If you know Chase, you know he HATES having his hair brushed/cut/etc. so it was HUGE for him to sit in my lap for me to do his hair. Crazy awesome.

He walked into his new school (the same beloved Christian private school LO attended for K3 & K4), marched right into his classroom, and washed his hands (per protocol, thankyouverymuch) before finding his seat at the table and having some Play-Doh fun. It was the cutest thing.

Again, I was super nervous when it came time for us to slip out of the room, but I was already on such a high that he WILLINGLY walked INTO his class that I could tell he was going to be just fine. As expected, he waved us off while rolling out his Play-Doh and was nothing but smiles.

Thank you, Jesus! What an unbelievable answer to prayer!!!!!

When it was time to pick him up (just under 4 hours later), I peeked through the window and saw him eating his lunch with all the other kids like such a big boy. It made my mama heart proud to see how well he was doing! And boy was he super excited to see me, LO and E when we walked in! He told me how he got to finger paint and color and was just in such a wonderful mood.

When we went out to the car, he found a gift bag with some goodies inside (just like I did for LO after her very first day of school), so I let him open his gifts before heading home after his first day. I am just SO very proud of him. There just aren't words!! Just so proud.

Here are some pics from his awesome first day!

How'd THIS Happen?

Someone tell me how it's possible this little heart warrior of mine will be starting preschool TOMORROW!? I vividly remember wondering if this day would ever come -- if we would be lucky enough to have our sweet boy survive his first few days, then weeks, then months... To know he's THRIVED for almost FOUR YEARS and is starting preschool is an absolute blessing. We thank the Lord for this child and I pray he has a most wonderful first day of preschool!

Side note: I will be *that* mom in the morning -- the one huddled in the fetal position in a corner bawling my eyes out. Ya, that's me.

I just love him so!!!

World's Best Mom

So I think E is gonna have that "third child" complex thing for sure. Here he is going on 4 months old and I have yet to post his birth story on the blog nor hang up a single picture of him at the house.

Horrible mom. Scarring my children for life since 2007.

On another note, I know I still haven't updated y'all on Chase's cath results or his Fontan timing. The short story is his cath went great, his pressures are great, making him a good candidate for the Fontan, and that's really all we know. We've scheduled an appointment with his local cardiologist next month as he will share any news/updates from the team at MUSC at that time, but honestly we aren't expecting much more than confirmation that we're still good for next spring. I'll update again after that appointment.

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LO Humor

I couldn't help but document a humorous moment with LO here. This was from yesterday when we were eating lunch. She's talking about the powder drink mixes for bottled water:

"Mom, I know how to do it. Open the bottle, add the powder stuff, shake it up and BOOM. Lemonade."

The best part was that she said it totally dry and very matter-of-fact-ly.
Love her.
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Thank You!

Just a quick post to say Thank You to the family and friends who have prayed us through another big heart procedure on our sweet Chase. The tally is up to 2 heart surgeries, 3 heart caths, 2 bronchoscopies and 2 outpatient surgeries. This boy has been through a LOT, with at least one more heart surgery to go.

We just simply couldn't walk this journey if it weren't for the grace of God and the love and support of our family, friends, neighbors, Facebook friends, twitter followers and blog readers. I send much love and gratitude to each of you!!!

I promise I'll write a post soon with the findings from today's cath and the plan for Chase's last scheduled heart surgery, the Fontan. For now my focus is on getting Chase settled into bed (after some late-night Mario Wii per his request) and getting little E fed and settled down for the night. Oh, and hopefully a long, restful night for mommy & daddy, too!

Thanks again to all of you for supporting us though our journey.

❤️ hugs!


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Cath Complete!

Just got the call at 12:05 PM. Going to see my boy.


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Cath Update #4

Our fourth update came in at 11:37 AM. They are pulling out the catheters now and preparing to put pressure on the insertion sites. This means they are finishing up and will have him up to recovery soon. Keep praying!!


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Cath Update #3

Just got our third update at 10:51 AM. They are coiling some collateral vessels and we'll get another update in about an hour. Please keep praying for my boy!!!

FYI: "Collateral vessels are abnormal blood vessels that connect the aorta with the pulmonary arteries, but they are normally small and are not used. Children with congenital heart disease have enlarged collateral vessels, which can let blood flow from an artery to an adjacent artery or it may carry blood downstream and then back to the same artery. To stop this flow and pumping blood into the lungs, coil embolization creates a blood clot which stops this reverse flow."

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Cath Update #2

Just got our second call at 10:07 AM. They ended up using three access points, one in both legs and one in the right side of his neck. We were not expecting this. They are doing the contrast dye angiograms now.

Please keep praying.

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Cath Update #1

Just got our first call at 8:57 AM. He went under the anesthesia fine. They have femoral venous access in his right leg and are assessing arterial access from either his neck or left leg. Will get another call in about an hour.

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Cath Begins

They took Chase back for his cath around 7:45 AM this morning. We arrived at the hospital at 6:45 AM and did some quick vitals. His o2 was 91%, which is well above his normal range of 82-85%. Weird. His BP was fine and thankfully there wasn't much else to do this morning since we did the full work up yesterday.

Chase handled things well, as long as he had his iPad in front of him (seriously, Best.Investment.Ever.). He refused to put on his gown (no surprise there) and refused to take his Versed (a.k.a. Happy Meds), so daddy and I had to hold him down for that. No worries, though. About 10 minutes later he was feeling the effects of it and had us laughing, forgetting what was ahead if only for a moment.

He wasn't "happy" enough to leave with the team, so mommy & daddy got to walk with him and the anesthesiologist down to the cath lab. He was starting to get so out of it. But when Dr. W picked him up from the gurney to carry him into the lab, he fought with whatever strength he could muster, which really wasn't too much by this point. I felt horrible but at least there wasn't any kicking or screaming.

I kissed my boy, told him I love him and to be brave, and watched him be carried into the cath lab for his procedure.

As the door closed, I found that I couldn't move. I stood there. Still as could be. Tears streaming down my face. My goal was to hold it together while I was with him, to be strong for him and not let him see the fear or worry I was filled with. Once those doors closed, I couldn't hold it together any longer.

It's so hard.

Being a mother to a child with a complex congenital heart defect is hard. So very hard. We have to do things that no mother should have to do. We have fears that no mother should have to fear. We have scary, uncertain futures ahead for our children that most mothers don't have. It's so hard.

But in the midst of my fears, and in the midst of the tears, I know Who holds my son's precious life in His hands. It's not me, not the doctors. It's my Lord and Savior, and without the knowledge of His love for me and my son, I could never get through a day like today.

I covet your prayers for Chase as he undergoes this heart catheterization. Our hope is that it remains a diagnostic procedure and doesn't require any intervention, although if they do find anything that needs attention, now is the time to address it. I'm hopeful Chase handles the anesthesia well and comes out of it without any pain.

We should receive updates every hour to hour and a half. I'll post updates here as I get them.

Thank you for your continued prayers for our sweet boy!

Here are a few pics from this morning:

Loving the iPad.



Versed on board and he's happy as a clam. Here he's putting the bubblegum-scented oxygen mask on Mickey.



The ride to the cath lab. He started in the middle of the gurney but started leaning over as we went along.



So. Very. Out of it. This was right before Dr. W took him into the cath lab. My sweet little Rock Star. I love him so.



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Cath Prep

Today has been quite an eventful day and I have never been more proud of BOTH of my boys! We had an early morning start to get us to MUSC in time for Chase's pre-cath work up, but the boys were both champs in the car. E slept basically the entire time and went almost 6 hours before he was finally ready to eat again! I was glad he did so well since this was his first long trip. Chase enjoyed lots of movies and snacks and for the most part seemed okay with our trip. He did say he didn't want to go to Charleston because he didn't want "that boy looking in his ears" (his ENT doc's student at his last visit), but overall didn't have many complaints.

We had the work up completed in record time! Only about 2 1/2 hours for the EKG, height, weight, oxygen saturation and questions. And Chase was straight up AMAZING!!! He handled everything with ease and there were no major freak outs (THANK YOU, iPad!!!). He even asked questions and wanted to know what was happening the whole time. Obviously quite different than his last cath almost 2 1/2 years ago! We answered all of his questions and discussed each activity beforehand so he'd know what to expect.

Here's our boy getting his EKG like a mad man:


And who owned the echo?? Oh, that's right -- it was Chase!


After we met with our favorite pediatric cardiology interventionist to discuss the procedure and saw our amazingly awesome anesthesiologist, we got our game plan for the cath and headed over to ENT for a quick follow up for Chase's ear tubes.

And by "quick" I mean that we waited OVER 2 1/2 HOURS just to see his ENT, who literally spent about 8 minutes in the room, 7 of which was small talk!

Whew.

Once we were finally able to leave the hospital, we went straight for -- you guessed it! -- ICE CREAM!!! I figured our big boy deserved a treat after the day he had (and the day he's going to have tomorrow).



Thanks in advance for your thoughts and prayers during Chase's cath in the morning. I'll post updates here as often as I can. We expect it'll take anywhere from 2 to 5 hours, depending on whether or not they need to do any coiling or ballooning.

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Another Heart Cath

Considering I haven't blogged in a while, it may come as a surprise to many of you to hear that Chase will be having another heart catheterization procedure at MUSC later this week. While Chase's special heart is something that is constantly on my mind, it's not something I choose to write about here often, unless of course we have heart-related news to share.

Some of you may recall that Chase had what was considered his pre-Fontan cath back in March 2011. The purpose of this cath was to confirm Chase would be a candidate for the Fontan, the third and final scheduled palliative surgery for his congenital heart defect (CHD) called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS). This cath was supposed to be his last/only cath before his third heart surgery.

However, almost 2 1/2 years have passed since his last cath procedure, and we (his parents, pediatric cardiologist and surgical team at MUSC Children's Hospital), have all agreed that it would be best to get another peek at his heart before we schedule his Fontan, which will most likely take place next spring. So that means another heart procedure involving general anesthesia and all of the not-so-lovely risks of a heart catheterization procedure.

Ugh.

Please keep our little Rock Star Chase in your thoughts and prayers throughout this week as we prepare for his procedure. The last time we went through this he wasn't quite 1 1/2, so it wasn't terribly difficult to care for him since he wasn't able to verbalize his fears, concerns, etc.

This time around, we have a very opinionated almost 4-year-old on our hands, who will be VERY aware of what is going on around him and VERY unhappy with all of it. This one is gonna be hard on all of us (none more so than Chase, of course), considering we'll also have our hands full with our little 3 month old while supporting Chase through this procedure. Should be interesting!

Here's a pic of our little Chase following his March 2011 heart cath procedure:

We're praying he rocks out this procedure and that we don't find any surprises. If you're curious about his previous cath from 2011, you can read about that here.

Thanks for your prayers!

Happy 6th Birthday, LO!

Wow! It's been a month since my last post! Can you tell life gets crazy when you add kiddo #3 to the mix? My goodness... We're settling into our new routine with baby E and luckily he's a super awesome baby, so that helps offset the crazy of his big sister and big bro! LOL!

So today's post is all about sweet little LO's 6th birthday party today! ((Let's just take a moment to let that sink in... I'm writing on my blog TODAY about an event that took place TODAY and publishing it TODAY. This never happens anymore!)) I can't believe she's 6 this week. Where does the time go?? And Chase is such a big kid these days, too... hard to believe he's going to start preschool NEXT MONTH!! Stay tuned for that post, which will most definitely be drenched in lots o' mommy tears.

We celebrated LO's birthday today, although she's not "officially" SIX until Thursday. ;) She wanted a My Little Pony theme and I'm happy to report the girl basically planned her own party! It made things easier on me for her to have her own little opinion on every.single.thing. I'm pretty sure she's happy with how it turned out so we'll consider it a big success! Here are some pics of her big day!

Hello, cupcakes!

Mmmmmmm!

Gotta have a pic of the yummy food -- all selected by LO down to the "red" and "green" Pringles. ;)

Little E is getting SOOOOOO big! And look at that proud big sis keeping an eye on him. Love.

This is hilarious. So Chase was in his swim suit with socks. So I asked him to take his socks off so he could go outside for the water games. He came back downstairs a few minutes later, still wearing socks, but now in his Mickey Mouse dress up shorts that I made him for his Halloween costume last year. This kid. He always keeps me laughing!

Now that the swim suit is back on, it's time for backyard water fun! My silly little boy loves him some water!

Who knew making water balloons was so easy, even a 6 year old could do it!

Look at this beautiful niece of mine! She's got a big birthday coming up in just over a month!

Girls demonstrating some serious water balloon concentration and teamwork.

After some quick snacks, it's time to open gifts!

Lots of great fun, from My Little Pony to Hello Kitty to Rapunzel. Every little girl's dream!

Getting ready to blow out her birthday candle! What a beautiful little girl!

Make a wish!!!

A birthday party's not a birthday party until a game of Twister breaks out! LOL!

Of course Chase had to get into the action...

Another shot of this sweetheart. She's trying to get this bike riding thing down by watching her cousins...

Oh -- did we forget? One last gift for the birthday girl... I'd say she approves.

Getting her ride on! This girl loves to fly!

What a wonderful day we had today with lots of our family and friends! We'll be celebrating LO's birthday all.week.long. with lots of fun festivities. And what great timing since she's only got about 31 days of summer left before starting FIRST GRADE. Geez.

Happy 6th Birthday, LO!!! I love you bunches!!!

Four Years and Two Days

I wanted to take a moment to recognize the anniversary of the biggest life-changing day in my family's life, but I couldn't bring myself to do it on the actual date, which happened to also be Father's Day! Speaking of which... here's a belated Happy Father's Day blog wish for my amazing hubs! Love him!!!

((WARNING: The following post contains graphic images. Continue at your own discretion.))

Four years and two days ago, our lives were forever changed when our unborn son was diagnosed with a complex congenital heart defect (CHD) called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, or HLHS. As you might imagine, we never expected it and certainly didn't know the first thing about it, yet we were immediately and unwillingly thrown into a world of chaos and confusion unlike anything we'd ever experienced in our lives. In fact, it took me six days just to put the words together to share the diagnosis on my blog. I can relive the day of June 16, 2009 in my mind like it happened yesterday.

Here's the post I wrote that chronicled that dark, devastating day in our lives.

Monday, June 22, 2009

The Diagnosis

This is the hardest blog post I've ever had to write. It's been almost a week that hubs and I have been reeling with the information that was provided to us, and I'm writing about it here in a genuine and sincere attempt to ask for your prayers as we head into the difficult journey that lies ahead.

On Monday, June 15th, hubs, LO and I headed to my 20-week ultrasound appointment with the anticipation of seeing images of our little boy. The ultrasound seemed relatively normal, measuring this and that, listening to the heartbeat, watching our son squirm around in his safe little home.

We waited what seemed like forever for the doctor to come in for the quick "any questions?" discussion, where we would say no, we're good to go.

Unfortunately, the doctor said something to us about not having very clear images of the baby's heart, and that she wanted us to visit a specialist who had more advanced equipment that could capture the pictures of the heart that were needed. She told us not to worry, that 9 times out of 10 it's nothing, don't be concerned, etc.

Miraculously I was able to heed her advice and not worry about the appointment that had been scheduled for us on Thursday, a good 3 days later. I was surprised to get a call not long after we left the 20-week appointment to tell us there was availability for us to come Tuesday, the very next day, for the appointment with the specialist. We jumped on it, just so we could hurry up and get our peace of mind back.

On Tuesday, June 16th, hubs and I left LO with Mona and met at the specialist's office for our ultrasound appointment. We were taken back and the technician started the ultrasound. She did some of the same measurements they had done the day before, and I patiently waited for her to give us an "all clear."

To my utter shock and horror, I vividly remember her muttering the phrase "I won't pretend that every is okay..." as she was trying to coerce the baby to move into the right positions so she could get a look at exactly what was going on. She left the room and brought the specialist, Dr. Greig, back in with her, and had him continue with the ultrasound. He was focusing on our son's heart, although all we could see was the black and white image surrounded with red and blue blotches that apparently indicated blood flow.

The doctor then dropped a completely unexpected bomb on us which we were not prepared to handle. He told us that it appeared our son had Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS) and a Ventricular Septal Defect (VSD). We were in utter disbelief. We had never heard of either of these conditions and immediately wanted to know what the impact would be for our unborn son.

We left the ultrasound room and waited for the specialist in a tiny little room where he would come in and explain a bit more about these conditions. It felt like an eternity in that little room, our minds racing and buzzing with all of the "what ifs" and "how did this happen" etc.

The doctor finally came in and explained to us that HLHS is one of the most complex and rare congenital heart conditions in which the left side of the heart is critically underdeveloped. With HLHS, the left side of the heart can't effectively pump blood to the body, so the right side of the heart must pump blood both to the lungs and to the rest of the body. Without treatment, hypoplastic left heart syndrome is FATAL, usually within the first few days of life.

The doctor attempted to provide 4 options to us, the first of which was termination of the pregnancy. I wouldn't even let him get the words out of his mouth before interrupting to tell him that wasn't an option. The next option was called "comfort care" where the baby is born and you do basically nothing but hold and love him until he passes, within the first few days of his life. Again, NOT an option. The third option was a heart transplant, in which case it would be very unlikely to find a new heart for our son within the first few days of his life. The final option was the ONLY option for us. It involves a three-step surgical procedure designed to create normal blood flow in and out of the heart, allowing the body to receive the oxygen-rich blood it needs. It is by no means a permanent "fix" to the problem, but rather a way to surgically reconstruct the heart to make it more likely to perform the functions of a regular heart.

As you might imagine, we were completely devastated at the diagnosis, and for the next 24-48 hours, we were totally numb as we both attempted to digest the information and wrap our minds around what was in store for us. We felt totally deflated, and the joy and anticipation of the pregnancy and of expecting a new baby were completely lost.

We struggled through the first week, telling only immediate family and a few close friends about our situation. It was a very difficult and trying time, most of which I spent researching HLHS on the Internet, finding both uplifting, positive information as well as deflating, disappointing, heart wrenching information.

So finally today arrives, Monday, June 22nd. We had our appointment with a Pediatric Cardiologist, Dr. Horne. While we weren't expecting the diagnosis to change, we were hopeful that he wouldn't find any additional problems with the baby or his heart. Dr. Horne did confirm the diagnosis of HLHS and confirmed the baby would need the 3 surgeries in order to live.

While we are still reeling with the information and are devastated to learn that our baby has a serious and rare heart defect, we are trusting in God for His hand of healing and protection on our son. We know He is able to do more than we could ever ask or imagine, and will continue to trust in Him throughout this journey.

Thank you in advance for your thoughts and prayers as we face an uncertain future. I will update the blog as often as possible/necessary throughout this process. I don't have another appointment scheduled until July 15th, so there hopefully won't be much of anything to share about the baby and his heart problem, but I will also continue to post about the fun and random things that happen to us and our precious LO. Can you believe she'll be TWO in just over a month? I'll be working on party details soon, so you can look forward to hearing more about that, too!

Thanks again for your thoughts and prayers!!!

Chase was born on October 26, 2009. He underwent his first open-heart surgery at a mere 7 days of age on Monday, November 2, 2009. They took him back at 6:33 AM and it would be over 8 hours later, at 2:55 PM, before he was out of surgery. We were able to see him for about 5 minutes after he was settled into the Pediatric Cardiac Intensive Care Unit (PCICU) at MUSC Children's Hospital in Charleston, SC.

This is our 1-week-old son following his first surgery. The nurses were kind enough to cover him with a blanket so I couldn't see his open chest and beating heart. It would be three days before the surgeon would close his chest as they needed to allow for the swelling that takes place following this surgery.

He had his share of bumps in the road, which included chest compressions when he crashed coming out of a bronchoscopy procedure, as well as vocal cord paresis and other hurdles before we were discharged when Chase was 5 weeks old. We returned home to learn how to live in our "new normal" world.

Just over 3 months later, we found ourselves back at MUSC for Chase's second scheduled heart surgery. On Wednesday, March 3, 2010 at 5:45 AM, we handed our son over yet again to the amazingly talented cardiac team at MUSC Children's Hospital. At 3:08 PM, just over 9 hours later, Chase was out of surgery and getting settled into the PCICU.

Here he is following his second heart surgery:

I can't help but find myself in tears as I relive these days/weeks in my family's lives. Seeing my son connected to medical devices and the numerous medications that were sustaining his life is hard no matter how long ago we experienced it. I can put myself back into that PCICU, sitting at his bedside, listening to the beeping of his pumps and monitors as if it all happened yesterday. Such a scary time not knowing what the future held for my little boy.

Fast-forward four years later. We got that diagnosis and by the grace of God, we were able to get through the uncertainties that lay ahead. We got through two heart surgeries and have one amazing little boy -- our living, breathing miracle from God -- that reminds us every day just how faithful our God is. It is only by His grace that I can share these:

An almost 4-year-old boy who loves the water and is so proud of himself for jumping in from the side and going underwater just like his big sister!

That same boy who received his first "big boy" bike and has asked every day since to go outside and ride it.

A boy who LOVES him some trains (like the one he's "driving" below), Buzz Lightyear, Super Mario Bros. Wii, BREAD, and every puzzle he can get his hands on -- no matter how big or small!

A big kid who had his very first sleepover at his grandma's house (along with big sister LO) just two short weeks ago, without any concern of being away from mommy & daddy overnight for the first time ever.

Four years and two days ago we experienced the beginning of something that no parent should ever have to face. And yet, here we are today, with an unbelievable blessing in our lives who brings us more joy than I could express. We wouldn't be where we are if it weren't for the grace of God and the love, support and prayers of our family and friends (and blog readers!). We love our sweet boy and it is my prayer that he will continue to bless us for another 80 years!!!

NOTE: His third and final scheduled heart surgery will most likely take place next spring. Please begin praying even now for a successful surgery with no complications for our sweet little Rock Star Chase.

Big Milestone!

Somebody lost her very first tooth today!! And guess where???

In a ginormous community swimming pool!!!

Thanks to her awesome cousins for organizing a search party to locate it so the tooth fairy can get it tonight! A quarter is still the going rate for a tooth, right??




- Posted using my beloved iPhone 5

Big Kid Milestone!

LO has a big announcement to share! My baby girl is growing up!!!

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6 Weeks

Warning: I've had like 11 hours of sleep over the past month. As such, this post will be very random and totally all over the place. ;)

It's hard to believe little E will be 6 weeks old tomorrow. I feel like he's been a part of our family forever! And I'm also surprised it's been almost a month since my last post. Lame! I guess it's fair to say I've had my hands full the past several weeks. Combine that with the measly few interrupted hours of sleep I get each night and maybe y'all can let me off the hook. Yes? Thankyouverymuch.

So as I mentioned, E is almost 6 weeks old. He's pushing almost 10 lbs., which is quite impressive considering he was 6 lbs. 14 oz. at birth and dropped down to 6 lbs. 6 oz. shortly thereafter. I guess I can say he's been eating well, right? Ugh. The nursing. That whole process that is supposed to be so very natural and easy? Notsomuch. My last post shared a bit of the trials of breastfeeding I was experiencing just one short month ago. I'm happy to say we got through that major hurdle and are here on the bright side now. I'm super cautious about my supply and have started the whole regimen of herbs (galactogogues) to keep my supply up for my hungry little hippo, but overall we're seeing a lot of success! This makes me one happy mama!

The older two kids... wow... they've taken to their little brother quite well for the most part. LO is exactly as I thought she'd be: the perfect little junior mama bear. She's constantly rubbing his head, helping with his paci, notifying me immediately when he needs something. She's the first to run to him when he starts to cry (I only gave him about a week or two of that immediate response time before starting to let him work on self-soothing). Chase isn't a huge fan of the crying, but I'll still occasionally catch him chatting with his little brother and "helping" him play with his toys. It's super cute to see how well these two have adjusted.

They even seem to get along with each other kind of good-ish. Sometimes. Rarely. Oh well.

I got a new lens for my camera, and I am absolutely in love! I haven't retouched these next two photos (although I should have before sharing them with you all) but they show off my awesome new 50mm lens.

I love love LOVE this shot!

Oh, so LO went and did a crazy thing earlier this month... she graduated from Kindergarten! Not sure why she's holding her dress weird in this pic, but I'm too lazy to go back to iPhoto to grab a better one. Sorry!

I made my boy some homemade BabyLegs! Basically leg warmers made from socks. These were a pair of my old socks here. Gotta say I love these since I typically only have E in a onesie and so this way, his legs stay warm and it makes diaper changes easier.

These two kids had a sleepover at Mona's house last weekend! It was Chase's VERY FIRST TIME EVER SPENDING THE NIGHT AWAY FROM MOMMY (other than his nights in the PCICU at MUSC when he was born). He did amazing (as I expected) and there was minimal crying involved (all by mommy, of course!). This was one tiny step towards getting me ready to let him start school this fall! Ha!

Saturday after their sleepover we took the kids to DQ for lunch (yum!) and then to a train exhibit in a nearby town. It was small but the kids were super impressed. They both love them some trains! I'm sure their little brother will join in the train fun when he's bigger. We had a great time seeing all the various model train displays and pushing all of the buttons!

This baby. I just love him. Especially that smile of his!!!

All my three loves playing "together." I love LO's face here. You can tell she's just smitten with this baby brother of hers! And Chase, of course, is in his own world playing with baby brother's toys. LOL!

So that's a little recap of some of what we've been up to lately. I promise I'll try to make an effort to post more frequently... for those of you who are still checking in on us! ;)

Now to go make some cupcakes... at 10:24 PM. ((yawn!))

What it is

First of all, this new little bundle of ours is simply amazing! He's just perfect and has made the most wonderful addition to our family. He sleeps well, eats well and overall has the most pleasant personality.

Our first week & a half at home was great (exhausting as expected but great!), but things took a turn over Mother's Day weekend when I developed a complication that has rendered me completely useless. Two straight days in bed, four days on one antibiotic with worsening symptoms resulting in a repeat trip to my OB today for another two medications. And it'll be another 2 or so days before we know if this regimen is working. Guess only getting 2-hour stretches of sleep at most for over 2 weeks now has contributed to my body running itself into the ground.

In the meantime the only productive thing I can do is pump breast milk for the baby. I can't even nurse him, which for those of you who know me well, know how important this is to me. I am devastated but praying praying praying it's only temporary.

I haven't been able to care for my older two kids. I haven't been able to care for my baby. I pump, then hubs feeds him a bottle, changes his diapers/clothes, puts him to sleep, gets him when he wakes, all while caring for the older two, running errands with all three kids as needed, doing laundry, and making sure everyone has some sort of food to eat 3x/day. Talk about New Mommy of the Year, right? Ugh. I have never been more thankful for hubs.

I feel like a failure because I can't do anything for my family. I can't do anything for my new baby except watch his daddy love on him and care for him.

This is so much harder than I expected and I hate not having any control over the situation. I'm just praying that the infection I'm fighting will respond to the latest antibiotics and I will feel well enough to start nursing my baby and caring for my family oh so very soon.

Thank you for your continued prayers.

- Posted using my beloved iPhone 5

Introducing...

Sorry for the delay! We've had a whirlwind week as you might imagine! I'll be back to share more soon... once I get through this whole sleep deprivation phase. ;)

We're so in love and are just smitten with this perfect little blessing!

E's Birth Story

Once again, I've found myself significantly behind on posting to the blog here. Case in point? This post is E's birth story. He was born on April 30, 2013. I just found the draft of this post on blogger today -- February 4, 2017. So ya, apparently it's been almost 4 years and I still have yet to post E's birth story on the blog. #epicmomfail

So, without further ado, I give you: E's Birth Story!

Apologies for the lack of photos. Apparently this is what happens when you wait almost 4 years to post a birth story.

On Monday, April 29, 2013, we arrived at the hospital at 6:10 PM. We were set up in Room 432 by nurses Nina and Lois. Lois placed my IV.

At 6:50 PM, the Cervidil was placed to get started with the induction. I was 70% effaced, 1 cm dilated, and had a few early contractions that showed up on the monitor.

At 7:00 PM, it was time for the nurse shift change! Welcome to E's delivery, Judy!

I slept pretty well, considering how hugely pregnant and uncomfortable I was. At 5:30 AM, the Cervidil was removed and I took a shower.

At 6:30 AM, the IV fluid was started, and I was almost 2 cm, still 70% effaced. The Pitocin was started about 10 minutes later, and my delivery nurse Sarah took over at the morning shift change.

My water was broken at 8:15 AM, and I was measuring at 2 cm, 50%, -2 station. There's some work to do today!

At 10:15 AM, Chana took over for Sarah. I can't recall now (4 years later, OMG) why this was... maybe they had a low census and sent Sarah home? Totally possible.

I was up to 80%, 3 cm, -2 at 10:50 AM. My contractions started to stall, so I rested for a bit while the increased the Pitocin. It was still so slow-going, so Dr. Bradley increased the Pitocin again at 1:00 PM. By 1:30 PM, I was about 3-4 cm dilated, 90% effaced, and at -1 station. Ten minutes later, they started fluids to prep for the epidural (Praise Jesus!). So much relief once that epidural was placed!

By 3:10 PM, I was up to 4 cm, 90%, and still -1 station, so the Pitocin was increased again around 3:50 PM. More waiting. Patiently waiting... I didn't mind so much since I couldn't feel any pain. It was just the usual discomfort and some anxiousness to meet my little guy.

It was now 5:15 PM, I was at 5 cm, 90%, -1, so they increased the Pitocin again. One hour later, I was complete! It was FINALLY time to meet my sweet boy!

Literally two BIG pushes, and two little pushes, and that precious baby E was finally here!

~ Baby E ~

4/30/2013

6:30 PM

6 lbs. 14 oz.

19 3/4"

This was the FIRST of my three deliveries that was "normal" and resulted in me immediately holding my baby after delivery. With LO's birth, I was given medication that knocked me out for about 2 hours while the doctor dealt with post-delivery complications, so there wasn't that immediate moment of bonding following her birth. With Chase's delivery, he was whisked away after a quick glimpse and taken to a stabilization room for over 2 hours, after which I was able to hold him for about 20 minutes and not again for almost a week. So to say it was a glorious moment to hold my brand-new, seconds-old baby immediately after delivery is an understatement!

So 7:00 PM rolls around and it's shift change again! Welcome to my recovery team, Chris!

I'll spare some of the details of the LONGEST NIGHT OF MY LIFE, but let's just say that the fact that I had gestational diabetes while I was pregnant with E made that first night absolutely horrible. Essentially, when he'd start crying in the middle of the night, wanting to be fed, I had to wait on a dadgum nurse to come in and POKE HIS HEEL to check his blood sugar before they'd let me feed him. You can imagine how many times this went on throughout his first night. I felt awful. The feeling of needing/wanting to feed your newborn son, and not having "permission" to do it until his blood sugar was logged? It. Was. The. Worst. Hubs and I were pretty sure we weren't about to go through another night like that one.

Bright and early, our day nurse Jill took over. She helped us fast-track all of the necessary discharge requirements (hearing test, circ, etc.) so we could HIT. THE. ROAD. And at 7:30 PM, we were DISCHARGED... 25 hours after little E's arrival.

I will always remember our trip home from the hospital. We stopped at Bi-Lo so we could pick up a small "birthday cake" for the kids to celebrate as they welcomed home their little brother. I was literally walking through the grocery store 25 hours after delivering a baby. It was so surreal. Seriously. So weird.

In hindsight, I kind of wish we had stayed one more night (if it weren't for the starving baby all night long!) because I would have loved to let LO and Chase come up to the hospital to meet their baby brother.

We arrived home, celebrated with the kids and their Gramma & Pa Pa, then settled in for our first night at home as a family of five. LOVE.