27 Weeks

Yesterday, I had to venture out of the comfort and safety of my home quarantine to go to an appointment with my high-risk perinatologist. I really didn't want to go, but I knew I had to. It was necessary for myself and for Cinco. I was scheduled to have a growth ultrasound, a consultation with my diabetic nurse, and a visit with my favorite maternal-fetal medicine specialist, Dr. G.

I want to take a moment to note that this is my fourth pregnancy that has included visits to the MFM office. It all started with Chase's heart defect diagnosis back in 2009, and we continued to be followed with each subsequent pregnancy with E, Squish, and now Cinco, as high-risk pregnancies seem to be my jam. However, this was the FIRST TIME I wasn't able to have my husband by my side. That's a pretty big deal, y'all! For starters, we didn't want to risk having anyone in our home to keep the kids while we were at the appointment, but even if we did, the doctor's office was not permitting ANY visitors with patients. Our hands were tied. It was disappointing and very different for sure, but I understand and appreciate the logic. And to be honest, my heart was breaking at the thought of not having my spouse there with me had this been my very first appointment and I was about to find out the details of a possible defect in my unborn child. I can imagine there are mothers-to-be in this exact position right now, and it breaks my heart just thinking of them experiencing that life-altering news all alone. My prayers are with these precious mamas and the journey ahead.

I was quite anxious to leave the house, and even more so to head to a medical office. The MFM office had me call them when I arrived, and wait in my car. I appreciated this so much! They came out to my car and took my temperature with a contactless device, handed me a check-in questionnaire to fill out, and asked me to call them when I was finished. Then they came out to my car to take me directly into my exam room. I should add that on Monday, my aunt was super awesome to drop an N95 mask in my mailbox that my mom gave to her, which apparently came from my brother-in-law (thanks, y'all!). I put it on in the car when I arrived for my appointment, and left on for the duration of my 2.5 hour visit. It was terribly uncomfortable, and quite unfashionable, but it provided me with added peace of mind for which I was quite grateful! I was cautious not to touch any part of my face, not to touch anything in the office unnecessarily, to sanitize my hands at every opportunity, and just make smart, healthy overall decisions as much as possible. I felt terrible that the nurses were jealous of my N95 masks as they all were wearing the typical disposable paper masks, which really don't provide them with much protection, especially when they're around so many different patients each day.

The diabetic nurse met with me first, and overall she was very pleased with my numbers. Not unlike previous pregnancies, I find myself checking my blood sugar with finger sticks 4+ times per day, and dosing two different insulin medications anywhere from 2 to 5 times per day in my stomach. That's a lot of poking, folks! But it seems to be keeping my levels where they need to be, which keeps both Cinco and I safe, so I'm happy about that!

After the nurse left, the ultrasound tech came to take me back for the u/s. Cinco cooperated quite nicely! We got a few precious pics of his adorable profile -- check out that sweet little button nose!

His growth measurements literally came in at 26w6d, which was exactly how far along I was yesterday! One of the biggest concerns with gestational diabetes is that the baby will grow too big, but for now, he's sitting at a perfect 2ish pounds (I forgot to write down the exact number -- hubs usually handles all.things.numbers. 😔). In addition to the growth measurements, Dr. G wanted to check the position of the placenta. At my previous ultrasound, they noticed the placenta was located right next to the cervix. Obviously placenta over the cervix would result in a C-section delivery, which I would very much like to avoid. Based on the ultrasound yesterday, the placenta was moving away from the cervix as the baby has grown, which was exactly what I had been praying for! Praise the Lord! I'm so grateful He hears our prayers in the midst of all that is going on in the world today. He is so good!

After the ultrasound, they took me back to my exam room to meet with the doctor. He was pleased with everything, and said he wished all of his high-risk patients were like me! LOL! While I have several reasons that cause me to fall into the high-risk category (old lady age, gestational diabetes, overweight, autoimmune disease), I am managing to maintain all of the risks well... at least so far! Dr. G was especially awesome because he wanted to eliminate the extra visits between his office and my OB's office, and we basically made the decision for me to continue to be seen exclusively at his office, eliminating the additional appointments with my OB. I will see him again in 3 weeks around 30 weeks, and then again around 33 weeks. Once I'm at 34 weeks, I'll likely start weekly appointments for growth ultrasounds and NSTs.

As for baby preparations at home, I haven't even started, y'all. 😳 Hubs and I had originally thought about closing in our upstairs loft and turning it into a 5th bedroom. This would allow us to put Chase in that room, move Squish into E's room, and leave the nursery for Cinco. However, we recently switched up our plans and are now planning to keep Chase and E in their room, keep the upstairs loft open, and put baby Cinco in the same room as Squish. I'm a little nervous about this because we've NEVER put a baby in a shared room. If you've successfully done this at some point with your kids, PLEASE send me some encouragement that it's going to work and it's going to be okay! All tips and suggestions are welcome! That said, I have no clue what I'm going to do with this combined room. Squish is in a toddler bed now (as of earlier this week!), and Cinco will obviously be in a crib. They will share a dresser and the closet. I have no idea how to decorate the room, what bedding to make/buy/use for Cinco, etc. I don't think I've ever felt this behind with preparing for a baby's arrival! There are only about 12 weeks left, so I'd better start figuring things out soon! Send virtual help and hugs my way, y'all!

Thanks for reading along with me on our journey! I'm grateful to the family and friends who have remembered us in prayer as I am dealing with pregnancy and a pending delivery during the COVID-19 pandemic. This is scary territory that I've never found myself in before now. I'm praying for the health and safety of my sweet baby during this scary time, and would covet your prayers as well.

Hugs, all!

19 Weeks

Here we are, approaching the half-way point of my pregnancy with Cinco, and I haven't really discussed much about it here on the blog since my 12 Week post. So, I figured it was about time for me to post a little pregnancy update.

I'm 19w4d today and am feeling pretty good overall! Check out that mango-sized baby bump!

This pregnancy has been rather uneventful, with the exception of what I'm about to share below.

For starters, I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes... again. This is my 3rd time with GD. My doctor prescribed insulin already... when I was 18 weeks. So a minimum of 4 finger pokes per day to check my blood sugar, and one shot of insulin each morning (likely increasing to a second shot in the evenings as well starting next week). For another 21 weeks. Good times, friends!

Let's go back to October 2019, a few weeks before I found out we were expecting... I started experiencing arrhythmias. Like, a lot of them. I had never had them before, so it was slightly unnerving to suddenly experience an onset of funky heart rhythms. I had actually even googled to see if arrhythmias were a sign of early pregnancy, since we were hoping for #5 at the time.

Fast-forward a bit, and we're happily expecting our last baby in July 2020. However, the arrhythmias continued to get stronger and more frequent. I'd speculate maybe 40-60 per day. Definitely more than enough to get your attention. I was concerned, but not terribly worried, until I started feeling lightheaded at times. In fact, I vividly recall the first Sunday in January when I was playing the piano for my church, and I literally felt like I was going to fall backwards off the bench at any time during both of our morning services! It was SO scary and unnerving! I was having a hard time catching my breath as well, and it was after that morning that I decided to talk to my doctor.

At my 16 week OB appointment in January, I discussed my concerns with my doctor. He suggested I completely eliminate caffeine and try to reduce stress. One of those things I could easily do. The stress part though? There was a lot going on. Homeschooling. Starting a part-time job. The unexpected death of a dear friend from high school. A house to run. Kids to feed. So.Many.Obligations. Reducing stress just wasn't something I could easily do.

While I did notice an improvement in the frequency of the arrhythmias after eliminating caffeine, they were still a significant issue. My OB decided to refer me to a Cardiologist, who I saw at the end of January.

The Cardiologist ordered a full workup, including an EKG and an Echocardiogram. He also had me wear a holter monitor for a week so we could track when the issues occurred and how often they were happening. I saw him yesterday for the Echo and to remove to holter monitor. I don't see the Cardiologist again for the results of my tests until the first week of March. I'm trying to be patient and not allow the stress and anxiety to worsen my symptoms. I trust God that everything will be fine, and that perhaps the arrhythmias are just a side-effect of being 100 years old and pregnant. 😂 Well, that combined with already having 4 crazy kids at home, plus homeschooling, plus working, plus... well, you get it. We all have to deal with all.the.things. in our lives, so this isn't anything new!

In the meantime, we have our 20 week full anatomy scan this Tuesday, February 11th. Please be praying along with us that everything with baby Cinco will be healthy! It was at this same anatomy scan appointment with Chase that we first discovered his congenital heart defect, so I won't even pretend that I'm not nervous and sightly apprehensive about this appointment. In the end, I fully trust in God's plan for my sweet family and know He will take care of us. I have been meditating over Matthew 6:25-34 concerning this anatomy scan next week and will continue to do so as God reveals His will in our lives.

The One with the Unidentified Allergic Reaction

Last Thursday, June 7th, we were celebrating our niece's graduation at my sister's house. It was a lovely day! LO had a riding lesson at noon, we came home and waited for hubs to finish with a work call, then the 6 of us headed to the graduation party.

Not more than 15 minutes after arriving, I happened to notice my mom and sister staring at Chase, inspecting his hands and feet. I came over to see what was going on and was SHOCKED to see that my son's hands and feet were swollen beyond anything I've ever seen in my life! He was also covered in hives over his face, neck, chest, back, and abdomen. I asked my sister for some Benadryl and took him upstairs. Chase was complaining that his hands and feet hurt (of course!) and he was cold (though he had a low-grade fever). After a hefty dose of children's Benadryl and some ibuprofen, I took him to a room to lie down and covered him with a blanket. I snuggled up next to him and called his pediatrician's office. Of course, it was just after 5pm, so I had to keep calling back until they turned the phones over to the answering service. I left a message for the nurse to call me back.

Chase was acting fine overall -- just sluggish/tired, cold, and achy. He was sipping on water and his breathing was normal. Then I looked at his fingers. His nail beds were BLUE. As in, pre-Fontan heart surgery blue. That was it for me. I told hubs we were taking him to MD360 to get a pulse ox on him and see what on earth is going on!

We left our 3 kids under the watchful eyes of my mom and two sisters and headed to MD360, which was only about 10 minutes away. The poor kid couldn't fit his swollen feet into his crocs, so I carried him inside to get him registered. While filling out paperwork, I informed the check-in lady that I needed to get him on a pulse ox ASAP, so she called back to the nurse. A few minutes later, hubs came in (after parking the car) and reiterated the urgency in getting a pulse oximeter on Chase because he's a heart kid. Within a few seconds, a nurse came out to look Chase over. She immediately said for us to come back. I carried Chase to a hospital-esque room (not the typical exam room) while hubs finished with the paperwork.

The nurse asked the same series of questions hubs and I had been pondering ourselves: has he eaten anything new/different? have we switched laundry or bath soaps? had he been exposed to any environmental allergens, etc. We had (and still have) no idea what caused this reaction! She checked his bp and o2 -- both of which were in range (for him). Thank you, Jesus!

The doctor came in a few moments later and assessed him. He essentially told us he has urticaria -- a.k.a. hives. He said it was viral and wanted to give Chase a steroid shot, after clearing it with his cardiologist.

We spent the next little while watching Chase enjoy Teen Titans and struggling to identify what caused all of this. Our poor boy. He looked absolutely pitiful, y'all.

He was covered all over in hives.

His hands were SO swollen.

And his feet were unrecognizable! Have you ever seen anything like this??

Even his knees were swollen! I've never seen anything like this before in my entire life!!

Bless his sweet heart! The doctor got approval for the steroid shot from cardiology, so my sweet boy had to get an unwelcome shot in his thigh. He was NOT a fan -- and I can't blame him!

We had to wait around 30 minutes to ensure the steroids were going to work. We also were given a prescription and were told to continue to give him Benadryl and Claritin for the next few days to ensure it doesn't reoccur. Once we had the all-clear, we stopped by the pharmacy and hubs and Chase were dropped off at home to get him settled on the couch and comfortable while I went to pick up the kiddos from my sister's house.

What an eventful evening! I'm just so grateful to the Lord for watching over our sweet Rock Star so this didn't turn into something much worse. He is faithful! And Chase was back to himself the next day. YAY!!!

The One with the Procedure

I just wanted to share a little update and answer to prayer here for my own recollection in the upcoming weeks/months/years. You may recall that Squish wasn't able to be circumcised in the hospital because he had bad reflux and the pediatrician preferred to do it in his office the following week so as to not deal with a compromised airway during such a delicate procedure. We wholeheartedly agreed, and scheduled this office visit for the following Wednesday when Squish would be 8 days old.

Well, you know from this post that we were in the doctor's office (or hospital!) quite a bit during Squish's first week, and that the pediatrician noticed an "issue" during an appointment on Squish's one-week birthday that required us to be referred to Pediatric Urology for a possible surgery in addition to circumcision. GASP! Not what you want to hear as parents of a sweet little squishy newborn!

Fast-forward to the following Friday when Squish was two weeks old, and we found ourselves at the Pediatric Urologist for a follow-up and diagnosis. Imagine our surprise when the doctor noticed NO ISSUES with sweet Squish's boy parts, and said she didn't see any reason why we couldn't proceed with an in-office circ. No surgery! No complications! Praise the Lord!!!

We tried to schedule the procedure at check-out, but they weren't able to get in touch with the scheduler and told us they would give us a call. Let me mention here that we were told it would be possible to do the circ in the office as long as Squish was UNDER 10 POUNDS. If he was over that weight, we would need to do a sedated procedure under general anesthesia, which isn't great for tiny little newborns, so it would require that we wait until he's at least 6 months old. Not at all what we wanted to do!

The following week I waited patiently for a call from their office while keeping a very close eye on Squish's weight (we have an infant scale and I weigh him before every bath). I hadn't heard from their office by Wednesday, so I gave them a call.

I was told that the schedule is full, they weren't able to find any room for Squish's procedure, and that they were going to refer us to the Pediatric Surgery unit affiliated with their hospital system.

I was NOT happy about that!

I was fine with our pediatrician doing the circ as he is the same one who did E's. I of course was okay with a Pediatric Urologist doing the circ, because, well, duh! But I did NOT have a warm n' fuzzy feeling about a general peds surgeon doing his circ. But I went ahead and called over there anyway just to see what our options were.

Imagine my surprise when Peds Surgery said they didn't have any room on their schedule, either!

What??

Gracious. They told me they were planning to do a clinic day to do circumcisions as they had several that needed to be done, but they wouldn't know until the following week when it would be scheduled, and they knew it wouldn't be until the week after that (end of July) before the clinic would actually take place.

My chunky little monkey would have been WELL OVER 10 pounds by that time! So then we'd be back to the plan of having to wait 6+ months (not a big deal) and put him under general anesthesia (a VERY BIG DEAL) in order to have it done.

I was beside myself!

{SIDE NOTE: For those who don't know about our journey with Chase, he was born with a Congenital Heart Defect (CHD) called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS). Basically the left side of his heart was too small to function. He had his first of three heart surgeries when he was 7 days old. When he was 2 weeks old, he had to go back to the OR for what was supposed to be a standard bronchoscopy procedure, but it ended up resulting in him crashing on the transport bed, the emergency oxygen tank was NOWHERE to be found, and the team ended up doing chest compressions and CPR on our fragile newborn baby boy. You can read about horrible that experience here.}

So if you happen to think we're being a bit ridiculous with our concerns over putting Squish under general anesthesia, please know we have had difficult experiences with one of our other children, which makes it difficult for us to hand over another baby for such a procedure.

So, I ended up calling the Pediatric Urology office back and informed them that Peds Surg was booked, too, and that they wouldn't be able to get him in until he'd be comfortably over the 10 pound limit. They ended up looking at their schedule again, and were able to find a TINY window the following Tuesday to fit him in.

Again, Praise the Lord!

This was such a HUGE answer to prayer to my mama heart. I didn't want to go through general anesthesia with my little Squishy! Thank you, Jesus, for hearing our hearts and making a way where there seemed to be no way!

So fast-forward to last Tuesday, July 11th, and we were at the Peds Urology office for Squish's circ. The entire procedure took less than 20 minutes, and he handled it like a champ! Bless. He's been surprisingly awesome these past 5 days as well, even with the extra care we've had to take to ensure he heals well. Seriously, this kid is just amazing, folks! Well, I guess all of our kiddos have been pretty relaxed and laid back babies... we are so grateful!

Here's my sweet little fella while we were waiting for them to take him back for his procedure last Tuesday. I'm thinking he wasn't overwhelmingly excited about the idea...

And here he is this afternoon, all sweet and content and just lovely...

I'm grateful that God has brought us through the unexpected difficulties of Squish's first month! I just love this little guy and I pray he has a much smoother road ahead!

Thanks for following our journey! Hugs!!

The One All About Squish's First Week

Okay. Here I am (FINALLY!) on my blog to document all of the details of this past week that my sleep-deprived self is terribly unlikely to remember in a few weeks... or a few days... or really, even a few minutes from now. It's been a crazy first week with Squish, and I need to throw all of this out here while it's still rather fresh in my head, because, let's face it: it'll be a few months (or more) before I find the time to document all of this in Squish's baby book, and everyone knows these details will be long gone by that time. My blog to the rescue!

Tuesday, June 13th

Squish is born! So.Much.Love. for this tiny little person!

Wednesday, June 14th

After one night in the hospital, we're ready to be discharged and head home! Squish had been spitting up a good bit of mucus, so our pediatrician decided to wait and do his circ in his office the following Wednesday. And we had to wait until Squish is at least 24 hours old to do a few of the newborn screening/tests that needed to be done. He passed his hearing test, his O2 test, completed his newborn screening, and had bilirubin labs drawn. We had to wait about an hour on the bilirubin results before we could officially head home.

The nurse came in to tell us Squish's bilirubin test came back at 7.7. Apparently if it were 8 or higher, I believe she said they wouldn't have discharged us! Thankfully we had the all-clear to be discharged, with the caveat that we needed to bring Squish in to the pediatrician's office the following day to do a repeat bilirubin test (this test = a heel stick. It's not fun for baby or mommy.). We made our appointment, and were finally ready to leave the hospital.

Thursday, June 15th

We had a ROUGH night at home Wednesday night into Thursday morning. They always say a newborn's second night is always way worse than their first night. YAY. But we survived, and I was able to take Squish to the pediatrician for his bili check.

Unfortunately, his bilirubin went up from 7.7 to to 14.2, obviously not trending in the right direction. It wasn't high enough to warrant phototherapy, and the pediatrician said to keep feeding him as frequently as possible, and to let him sit near a window in the sunlight for about 20 minutes a few times a day. Easy peasy!

In the meantime, I was struggling a bit with the breastfeeding. I won't go into a ton of detail, but let's just say Squish was having issues with his latch, which was causing a good amount of pain for mommy. To help address this, I scheduled an appointment with the Lactation Consultant at the pediatrician's office for Friday afternoon.

Friday, June 16th

Friday afternoon, I arrived at the pediatrician's office for my lactation consultation. It went really well, but I didn't feel like we had necessarily done anything that would immediately resolve the issue. I am hardcore in favor of exclusively breastfeeding (and/or pumping) without using formula (personal preference - no shame to those who choose that route!), so it's really important to me that we are successful with nursing, milk supply, weight gain, etc.

While we were there, the pediatrician peeked at Squish and decided he'd like to see another bilirubin test, and asked us to bring him in on Saturday for another check. Well, okay then! Because three days of doctor visits in a row sounded like a great idea! LOL.

Saturday, June 17th

It's Saturday. We were discharged on Wednesday, and so far, we have spent every.single.day. visiting our beloved pediatrician's office. LOL! We checked Squish's bilirubin and it had only increased from 14.2 to 15.1. This indicated it was starting to slow down and eventually would start falling back into the normal range. What a blessing! I was so glad to hear this because it was really upsetting to continually do heel sticks on my sweet boy!

Sunday, June 18th

We had our first day at home as a family of SIX without any doctor appointments or hospital visits! Hurray! It was a wonderfully relaxing Father's Day!

Monday, June 19th

We had our second day at home without any medical visits or issues! Hurray for this new trend!

Tuesday, June 20th

We went back to the pediatrician's office for what would (hopefully) be our final heel stick and bilirubin check. I was so happy to see that it finally went DOWN to 13 from 15.1! Yippee!! This meant Squish was finally in the clear with his jaundice issues.

While we were there, the pediatrician was taking a closer look at my sweet boy's "boy parts" in preparation for his circumcision we had scheduled the following day. Unfortunately, he discovered an issue with his little parts, and determined he would not be able to perform the circ. In fact, he wanted to refer us to a Pediatric Urologist for further testing, treatment, and possible surgery.

WHAT?!!

That was NOT what I expected to hear!!! I was so surprised and scared and frustrated... my poor boy! He doesn't deserve to go through all of this! I've been researching his diagnosis and it seems that it won't be able to be addressed until he's at least 6 months old. And it will most likely require surgery under general anesthesia. Again, NOT what a mommy wants to hear concerning her week-old newborn baby! At least my little guy didn't have any idea what his doctor and I were discussing... such a peaceful little squishy-squish!

 On Tuesday, we also celebrated little Squish's ONE-WEEK BIRTHDAY!!!

Wednesday, June 21st

Oh, Wednesday. How I loathe thee! Wednesday morning was our first day in SEVERAL days that we did NOT have a doctor's appointment. SCORE! However, Squish woke up to eat around 7:30 AM, and I put him back in his pack n' play when he was finished. I got up almost 3 hours later to check on him, and noticed a dark colored stain on his sheet. I turned on the light and looked closer to see that there was bright red blood mixed with spit up on the sheet right next to his mouth. My baby spit up bright red blood!!! I'm no medical expert, but I know that can NEVER be a good thing. I immediately texted my mom and sister (both nurses) to confirm that I needed to take him in to see the pediatrician. They agreed.

At the pediatrician's office, we discussed ALL of the possible causes for the bloody spit up. One of the most common was that the blood actually came from me while he was nursing (I told you it's been a painful process and that his latch was NOT that great). However, it wasn't a guarantee because the blood was bright red, there was a good amount of it, it appeared a few hours after he finished eating, and there had been ZERO indication of ANY blood in his milk during my many many pumping sessions. So the doctor continued to think through all of the possible scenarios that could have resulted in his spitting up blood.

One of the areas of concern he wanted to rule out was possible gastrointestinal issues, such as Intestinal Malrotation (this would result in surgery to repair). He made a call to his buddy at the main downtown hospital, who happened to be THE MAN over all of Pediatric Radiology, and confirmed that he would be able to get us in as soon as we were able to get there. You can imagine how scary this whole process was! Everything happened so fast, and before I knew it, I was calling hubs, making arrangements for my sister to keep the kids so hubs could meet me downtown, and loading up Squish in the car to head to the hospital.

Within 20 minutes, I found myself at the main downtown Children's Hospital for an Upper GI study for Squish to exclude possible issues such as hematemesis and intestinal malrotation. My sweet, sweet boy! After the experiences we've had with Chase, it was all too surreal to find myself at the hospital for an unexpected test to rule out a major complication. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing as I waited in the patient registration area before going back to Radiology.

Thankfully, sweet Squish cooperated for the test (this was a blessing considering it had been over FOUR HOURS since he'd eaten... he needed to be hungry enough to swallow the barium mixture for the test), and the Radiologist determined there were NO GI ISSUES with our baby! Praise the Lord! This was SUCH a HUGE relief to my mama heart!!!!! 

We left the hospital and I sat in my car, finally able to feed my sweet baby, thanking God over and over for the positive news. Of course, we still didn't have a reason for the bloody spit up, but we are at the point of assuming it came from me when he had nursed the night before. I spoke with my Lactation Consultant, and she suggested I take a break from nursing and just exclusively pump for a day or so to give myself a chance to heal. We scheduled an appointment for me to come in to see her on Friday for another look at Squish's latch and to see what we need to do to make breastfeeding work better for both of us.

Thursday, June 22nd

Today! We have ZERO plans to see doctors, Lactation Consultants, Radiologists, or any other medical professional! In fact, we're planning a little family outing together... our first time leaving the house together as a family of SIX! We couldn't BE more happy to finally get a chance to settle into our new normal... 9 days after our little Squish's arrival!

Thank you to all of our family, friends, and followers for checking in on us, praying for us, bringing meals to us, and just loving on us as we expand our sweet family! And my apologies to any of you who know us personally who may have discovered that I deactivated my Facebook account and am no longer using Snapchat or Instagram. I decided that my focus should be on my family at this time, and not on the world outside of our four walls. That may sound selfish, but for me, it's just what I need to do. I don't want to waste time that I could be spending with my family on my phone checking in to see what everyone else is doing. I love y'all -- really, I do! But this time with my family is just too precious to me right now. And it's important to me to document all of our happenings on the blog here as I have done for my previous three littles, so giving up Facebook is providing me with the time I need to do just that. This blog post right here that you're reading is proof! :) I am still posting random musings and photos on Twitter, so be sure to follow me there for updates, pics, and links to new blog posts!

Hugs!!!

Cardiology Update

UGGGGHHHHHH.

I hate writing these posts. But the whole purpose of this blog is to help me remember important events, milestones, etc., and I know several of you who read my blog have been following Chase's journey with his congenital heart defect, so here goes!

Chase had his 6-month appointment with his cardiologist last Friday. We were curious how things would look because we've seen some not-so-great signs with Chase over the past few months. But let me back up a minute with a quick refresher of things (since it's been so long since I've posted regularly out here!):

• 10/26/2009: Chase is born! He was diagnosed prenatally with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS), which basically means the left side of his heart didn't form properly in utero, and all of his left-side heart structures are too small to function.
• 11/2/2009: Chase has his first open heart surgery, the Norwood, at one week old. This is the first of three surgeries to give him a chance at life, as this defect was considered fatal within the first two weeks of life as little as 20 years ago.
• 3/3/2010: Chase has his second heart surgery, the Bidirectional Glenn.
• 5/9/2014: Chase has his third (and final planned) heart surgery, the Fontan.

Okay, so that was a super-brief recap to get us to where we are now. So kids with HLHS have low O2 saturations at birth, like in the low 80s, and they pretty much keep the low sats until after their third surgery, the Fontan. After the Fontan, HLHS kids typically get up to their highest O2 saturations, in the high 90s, which is where they stay for their lifetime. During this surgery, they leave a small hole, or fenestration, between the extracardiac conduit and atrium. Typically this means their O2 sats will be a bit lower than the high 90s, for a period of time, until the fenestration is closed. Once it's closed, their sats reach the high 90s.

Here's a graphic representing post-Fontan blood flow, including the fenestration:

For many kids, the fenestration closes on its own over time -- usually within a year or two after the Fontan. For other kids, it does not. Chase falls into the latter category. His sats initially improved after his Fontan, from his usual low- to mid-80s, up to low 90s! His color was much better as well -- his nail beds were pink and his lips weren't as blue. Yay!

However, over the past 6 months or so, we've started to notice his coloring changing back to his pre-Fontan coloring (basically more blue than pink). We monitor his O2 levels at home, and we started to see them declining. At this point, they are back to where they were pre-Fontan (low- to mid-80s).

All of this brings us to the results of his appointment last Friday. I have to say here that he handled this appointment like a CHAMP. Weight, height, blood pressure on ALL FOUR limbs, O2 sats, echo... he was amazing!!

Well, his cardiologist agreed that his sats are lower than we'd like, so we are now awaiting a call from MUSC to schedule an interventional cardiac catheterization. During the cath, the interventional cardiologist with measure Chase's current pressures, then perform a test occlusion of the fenestration. Basically this means he will temporarily close the hole that was left during his Fontan surgery. Once the hole is closed, they will then measure his pressures again. If he responds well to the temporary closure and everything looks good, they will proceed with permanently closing the fenestration. This should cause his O2 sats to increase closer to the preferred range for post-Fontan kids -- the high 90s.

If he doesn't handle the temporary closure well, they will obviously not permanently close the fenestration, and I honestly have no idea what our next steps would be in that situation. We are praying that he handles it well, they are able to close the fenestration, and his sats are up to where we want them.

So, we are waiting for a call from MUSC (within the next week or two) to schedule his cath procedure. His cardiologist, hubs and I all agreed that we would prefer to get this done sooner than later, so we will probably be heading to Charleston very soon -- within the next month or two. This type of procedure typically requires an overnight stay for observation and monitoring, and we are hopeful it will only be one night (for those who don't know, hospital time is waaaaaayy different than "normal" time).

I will update here with more information as soon as we have a date set and/or additional details. In the meantime, please keep Chase in your prayers! We haven't discussed this upcoming procedure with him (or our other kids) because we don't want to stress him out with it looming over his head, especially since we don't even have a date set yet. But I'm concerned that he will be very unsettled by the idea now that he is definitely old enough to understand everything that will be happening. And unfortunately, the most recent hospital experience he will recall was his Fontan, which was a week in the hospital and a TON of tubes, wires, and general uncomfortableness. On the plus side, since he is older now, we should be able to help manage his expectations since we can explain everything in more detail now. Regardless, this isn't going to be fun for any of us -- especially Chase. We covet your prayers in the coming weeks!

Thank you to all of you who have followed along on our journey and supported us along the way. We are so blessed to have your love and support!

18 Months!

I can hardly believe my littlest E is now a full-fledged 18-month-old! He's walking (and occasionally running) all over the place these days and his vocabulary is increasing by the minute! He LOVES all things "ball!" (basically anything remotely round or spherical, whether flat or 3-dimensional, is considered a "ball" in his world) and has a pretty hefty appetite, as his sister and brother did when they were his age. His smile is the BEST and his giggle is killer! He is SO MUCH FUN and I just adore him to pieces! I can barely recall when LO and Chase were still little like him, but I'm pretty sure this age is just all-around the best and so totally fun!

He had the privilege of visiting the doctor's office today for his 18-month well visit, which included TWO shots (the poor babe!). He did super great and overall the doctor was pleased with his growth and progress. He's sitting at a whopping 9th percentile for weight, 14th percentile for length and 41st percentile for head circumference. So basically he's a tiny, short toddler with a big ol' noggin! LOL!

He's still working on getting some new teeth in, most of which are now molars. That's fun. But for the most part, he's been a real champ! Last week he had a bout of high fever and needed some extra cuddles. Lucky for him, not only was Mommy nearby, but his Mona was there to snuggle him, too!

E is such a clown and LOVES to make everyone laugh! He finds that if he does something once and someone laughs at him, then it's totally worth doing again. And again. And again! He especially loves to act crazy and imitate his big sis and big bro, almost always garnering a chuckle from one or more of his audience.

Here are a few more videos of this silly boy of ours!

 

Phew. I feel such a sense of relief to have finally written a post about little E! I think it's been since his birthday 6 months ago that I wrote a post devoted to him! Seems I did a great job of blogging LO's early years, and of course I obviously posted a LOT about all that was going on with Chase when he was a baby, but I guess this whole "third child" thing combined with homeschooling combined with all of the other things that vie for my time have left me with little time to blog! I'm really trying to do better about that because this blog basically serves as my memory because, as the three kids may indicate, I can't remember much about anything anymore! LOL!

Time

Time.

What a rare commodity. Seems I've been running short on it here lately.

And by lately, I mean the past 6 months or so.

My head is swirling with a zillion thoughts on how to get back some of this precious gift of time.

Give up my part-time job?

Walk away from my position with the PTA?

Get another mom to room parent my 1st grader's class?

Quit one of the few church ministries I've always been called to serve in? ((Oh, wait -- I already did that last month.))

:(

There are so many things I need more time for.

Time for my family.

Time to blog the events and milestones I don't want to forget.

Time to play with my kids.

Time to update my almost 6-month-old's (!!!) baby book.

Time to sew my kids' homemade Halloween costumes / dress up play clothes.

Time to clean my house. It's seriously filthy and overlooked.

Time to plan my precious boy's 4th birthday party.

Time to pray and pray and pray and pray some more over Chase's next heart surgery that will take place most likely in May.

Time to update the blog about Chase's cardiology appointment earlier today.

Time to cook healthy meals for my family.

Time to grocery shop.

Time to spend in God's word.

Time to actually date my husband (without 3 kids & a drive-thru on the agenda).

The list goes on and on and on. I'm sure every mom can relate. It's not easy to balance work, family, volunteering and other commitments that require our time. I give kudos to those moms who were wired with the ability to work a full-time job while raising a family and still manage everything else with ease. I'll fully admit I am NOT wired that way.

If you would've asked teenage me what I wanted to be when I grew up, the answer was always the same:

A wife and a mother.

I'm there now. I've arrived. But I'm letting too many distractions keep me from doing my best at these two incredibly important roles that I've waited so long to fulfill.

I find myself missing out on the two weeknights of quality family time that I'm home each week by sitting at my computer, putting the needs of my daughter's school ahead of my family.

I find myself missing out on the ministry opportunity of singing in the choir each Wednesday because I'm so tired and overwhelmed by life to find the strength or willingness to go.

I find myself missing out on the relaxing yet productive Saturdays at home with my family because I'm commuting and working for 10 of those precious hours every Saturday.

I find myself missing out of the joy of worshipping with my family and setting a good example for our kids by attending church on Sundays because I'm too tired from working the day before and am just so desperate for some "downtime" with my family.

I find myself missing out on sharing in special school events with my children because although I volunteered to help with both LO & Chase's field trips, I just realized tonight that they are BOTH next Friday.

With Chase's first 4th birthday party that night.

Followed by Chase's second 4th birthday party the following morning (What? If anyone deserves two parties, it's this Rock Star Heart Warrior of mine!).

Whoa.

If you've read this far, way to go! Regular readers will know I always keep it real here. I'm being incredibly open and transparent with my struggles tonight -- that's for sure! If for no other reason, it's a wee bit liberating to me to put my thoughts out here so I can come back later and see that maybe it wasn't really as bad as it felt like at the time. Maybe?? And brain dumping on my blog has always been a good source of release for my crazy. ;)

So thanks to those of you who made it to the end. I covet your prayers as I work through some difficult decisions in the days ahead. Your support means so much!

Now to try and fit in some time for a few hours of much-needed sleep.

G'nite!


- Posted from my beloved iPhone 5

World's Best Mom

So I think E is gonna have that "third child" complex thing for sure. Here he is going on 4 months old and I have yet to post his birth story on the blog nor hang up a single picture of him at the house.

Horrible mom. Scarring my children for life since 2007.

On another note, I know I still haven't updated y'all on Chase's cath results or his Fontan timing. The short story is his cath went great, his pressures are great, making him a good candidate for the Fontan, and that's really all we know. We've scheduled an appointment with his local cardiologist next month as he will share any news/updates from the team at MUSC at that time, but honestly we aren't expecting much more than confirmation that we're still good for next spring. I'll update again after that appointment.

- Posted using BlogPress via my beloved iPhone 5

Thank You!

Just a quick post to say Thank You to the family and friends who have prayed us through another big heart procedure on our sweet Chase. The tally is up to 2 heart surgeries, 3 heart caths, 2 bronchoscopies and 2 outpatient surgeries. This boy has been through a LOT, with at least one more heart surgery to go.

We just simply couldn't walk this journey if it weren't for the grace of God and the love and support of our family, friends, neighbors, Facebook friends, twitter followers and blog readers. I send much love and gratitude to each of you!!!

I promise I'll write a post soon with the findings from today's cath and the plan for Chase's last scheduled heart surgery, the Fontan. For now my focus is on getting Chase settled into bed (after some late-night Mario Wii per his request) and getting little E fed and settled down for the night. Oh, and hopefully a long, restful night for mommy & daddy, too!

Thanks again to all of you for supporting us though our journey.

❤️ hugs!


- Posted using BlogPress via my beloved my iPhone 5

Cath Complete!

Just got the call at 12:05 PM. Going to see my boy.


- Posted using BlogPress via my beloved my iPhone 5

Cath Update #4

Our fourth update came in at 11:37 AM. They are pulling out the catheters now and preparing to put pressure on the insertion sites. This means they are finishing up and will have him up to recovery soon. Keep praying!!


- Posted using BlogPress via my beloved my iPhone 5

Cath Update #3

Just got our third update at 10:51 AM. They are coiling some collateral vessels and we'll get another update in about an hour. Please keep praying for my boy!!!

FYI: "Collateral vessels are abnormal blood vessels that connect the aorta with the pulmonary arteries, but they are normally small and are not used. Children with congenital heart disease have enlarged collateral vessels, which can let blood flow from an artery to an adjacent artery or it may carry blood downstream and then back to the same artery. To stop this flow and pumping blood into the lungs, coil embolization creates a blood clot which stops this reverse flow."

- Posted using BlogPress via my beloved my iPhone 5.

Cath Update #2

Just got our second call at 10:07 AM. They ended up using three access points, one in both legs and one in the right side of his neck. We were not expecting this. They are doing the contrast dye angiograms now.

Please keep praying.

- Posted using BlogPress via my beloved my iPhone 5

Cath Update #1

Just got our first call at 8:57 AM. He went under the anesthesia fine. They have femoral venous access in his right leg and are assessing arterial access from either his neck or left leg. Will get another call in about an hour.

- Posted using BlogPress via my beloved my iPhone 5

Cath Prep

Today has been quite an eventful day and I have never been more proud of BOTH of my boys! We had an early morning start to get us to MUSC in time for Chase's pre-cath work up, but the boys were both champs in the car. E slept basically the entire time and went almost 6 hours before he was finally ready to eat again! I was glad he did so well since this was his first long trip. Chase enjoyed lots of movies and snacks and for the most part seemed okay with our trip. He did say he didn't want to go to Charleston because he didn't want "that boy looking in his ears" (his ENT doc's student at his last visit), but overall didn't have many complaints.

We had the work up completed in record time! Only about 2 1/2 hours for the EKG, height, weight, oxygen saturation and questions. And Chase was straight up AMAZING!!! He handled everything with ease and there were no major freak outs (THANK YOU, iPad!!!). He even asked questions and wanted to know what was happening the whole time. Obviously quite different than his last cath almost 2 1/2 years ago! We answered all of his questions and discussed each activity beforehand so he'd know what to expect.

Here's our boy getting his EKG like a mad man:


And who owned the echo?? Oh, that's right -- it was Chase!


After we met with our favorite pediatric cardiology interventionist to discuss the procedure and saw our amazingly awesome anesthesiologist, we got our game plan for the cath and headed over to ENT for a quick follow up for Chase's ear tubes.

And by "quick" I mean that we waited OVER 2 1/2 HOURS just to see his ENT, who literally spent about 8 minutes in the room, 7 of which was small talk!

Whew.

Once we were finally able to leave the hospital, we went straight for -- you guessed it! -- ICE CREAM!!! I figured our big boy deserved a treat after the day he had (and the day he's going to have tomorrow).



Thanks in advance for your thoughts and prayers during Chase's cath in the morning. I'll post updates here as often as I can. We expect it'll take anywhere from 2 to 5 hours, depending on whether or not they need to do any coiling or ballooning.

- Posted using BlogPress via my beloved my iPhone 5

Another Heart Cath

Considering I haven't blogged in a while, it may come as a surprise to many of you to hear that Chase will be having another heart catheterization procedure at MUSC later this week. While Chase's special heart is something that is constantly on my mind, it's not something I choose to write about here often, unless of course we have heart-related news to share.

Some of you may recall that Chase had what was considered his pre-Fontan cath back in March 2011. The purpose of this cath was to confirm Chase would be a candidate for the Fontan, the third and final scheduled palliative surgery for his congenital heart defect (CHD) called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS). This cath was supposed to be his last/only cath before his third heart surgery.

However, almost 2 1/2 years have passed since his last cath procedure, and we (his parents, pediatric cardiologist and surgical team at MUSC Children's Hospital), have all agreed that it would be best to get another peek at his heart before we schedule his Fontan, which will most likely take place next spring. So that means another heart procedure involving general anesthesia and all of the not-so-lovely risks of a heart catheterization procedure.

Ugh.

Please keep our little Rock Star Chase in your thoughts and prayers throughout this week as we prepare for his procedure. The last time we went through this he wasn't quite 1 1/2, so it wasn't terribly difficult to care for him since he wasn't able to verbalize his fears, concerns, etc.

This time around, we have a very opinionated almost 4-year-old on our hands, who will be VERY aware of what is going on around him and VERY unhappy with all of it. This one is gonna be hard on all of us (none more so than Chase, of course), considering we'll also have our hands full with our little 3 month old while supporting Chase through this procedure. Should be interesting!

Here's a pic of our little Chase following his March 2011 heart cath procedure:

We're praying he rocks out this procedure and that we don't find any surprises. If you're curious about his previous cath from 2011, you can read about that here.

Thanks for your prayers!

Cardiology Visit

Whoa. I'm in shock & awe! We just had Chase's cardiology appointment this morning, our first time since November, and I am so surprised by the outcome! Good news is it's all good news, so whew!!!
At his last appointment, his LPA (left pulmonary artery) showed signs of narrowing. It was a concern but not enough so to act on it. We figured we'd check it out again at our next appointment and see how it looks. If it continued to narrow, it would force our hand to do his third scheduled surgery, the Fontan, sooner than later. As in early Spring, potentially. If it didn't look too bad, we'd hold off until Fall.
Let me just say this appointment was without a doubt the BEST appointment Chase has ever had from a cooperation standpoint. He stood on the scale without crying and also let us capture his height. Then he rocked out all FOUR blood pressures (one on each extremity) without a tear and was actually HELPING the nurse. Amazing. They even did the pulse oximeter simultaneously with the BP cuff and he didn't mind a bit! See??!




We had a few minutes in the exam room to answer the nurse's questions then it was off to echo! He again did his typical amazing job during the lengthy echo. The tech wasn't able to get good pictures of his LPA so we rearranged him a few times on the table to help. I asked if she was able to get the pics we needed and she said yes. Thank you to Madagascar for entertaining Chase throughout the echo.




So proud of this big boy of mine!!!




After the echo it was back to the exam room to wait on Dr. H. After a good 45 minutes (sigh), he came in and we chatted a bit. Then he informed us that we DIDN'T get good pictures of his LPA and he wanted to take us back to echo. Grrrrr! I didn't mind it and definitely wanted to be sure we got what we needed, but it irritated me that the tech specifically said she DID get the pics. Oh well. Chase cooperated perfectly and we were able to see exactly what we needed.
Back in the exam room, Dr. H told us that based on the measurements he took, it looked like his LPA had grown and/or we got better more accurate pics of it on the echo this time. GREAT NEWS!!! He then proceeded to say that everything looked wonderful and that he'd leave it up to US if we wanted to schedule his Fontan this Fall or NEXT SPRING!!!
Whaaaaa?!!
NOT doing his Fontan before the end of 2013 had NEVER crossed my mind as an option!! Wow. I am still in shock & awe! He said he didn't need to see us again for another 6 months. Wow. We opted to see him again in August instead (5 months) just in case anything changes so that if we need to move forward with his surgery, we could try to get him in before the cold/flu season starts.
Options. Choices. What a concept! I cannot for a second be anything but BLESSED that our son is doing so well that his little body isn't forcing our hand at scheduling his last planned heart surgery. There are so many other heart families out there who don't get a choice and whose little ones require urgent heart surgeries to sustain their child's lives. We are so blessed and grateful!!!
After we scheduled our return appointment for August, hubs and I took Chase out for lunch at one of his (and my!) favorite joints: Culver's. It was a big hit!! Can't you tell?? ;)




So what a wonderful day it's been for our little family and our sweet boy. Now mama's heading off to my weekly ultrasound appointment for the baby, followed by a non stress test on Friday. Yes -- two appointments each week from here on out. Not loving it but so excited to get to see my baby boy every week until his arrival! Woot!
Thanks to all for your prayers for Chase's appointment today! Love to all!!!
Posted using my beloved iPhone 5

It's a Happy Valentine's Day!

I hope everyone has a Happy Valentine's Day!

And if you think about it, say a little prayer for us this afternoon as we head to an appointment at my Perinatologist for a fetal echo on the baby. Chase's cardiologist will be there to review the echo and we're praying that everything looks perfect. You may recall my earlier post from our 19-week scan that showed a healthy, four-chamber heart. Today's fetal echo is just a more in-depth look at the baby's heart and another level of assurance that everything is okay. We appreciate all happy thoughts and prayers sent our way this afternoon.

---

UPDATE: We returned from our fetal echo this afternoon and Chase's cardiologist Dr. H confirmed our baby has a healthy, four-chamber heart! The appointment went very well! The baby measures 2 lb. 7 oz. and was very cooperative for us. We saw lots of great pics of his face, both in 2D and 3D! So cool!

We'll return in 4 weeks for another growth ultrasound. The doctor wants to watch my blood sugar weekly as well as the baby's growth. Even though I wasn't "officially" diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes, it sounds like they're going to treat me as such (no surprise).

So for your viewing pleasure... here's a little profile pic of our guy! :)

GD Woes

Hmph. This post is quite a bit overdue. Honestly it's been about a month now that I've spent wrapping my mind around this unexpected pregnancy complication: Gestational Diabetes. It's required quite a monumental shift in my lifestyle that I guess I haven't really been ready to talk about until now. The timing is a bit weird as this is Congenital Heart Defect Awareness Week and I really should be devoting my blog to more posts about CHDs, but at the same time I like to use my blog as a journal of sorts so I can look back on this 2 years from now and remember the details of things long forgotten. So without further ado, here's my lil' rant.

I have a family history of diabetes. Of course this means I have an increased likelihood of getting diabetes myself later in life, but it wasn't something I ever focused on. I'm more of a "here and now" kind of girl versus a "what if-er."

About a year ago, my primary physician decided to put me on a medication called Metformin, an antidiabetic drug of sorts that was prescribed almost as if it was going to prevent me developing diabetes. My doctor never asked me to monitor my blood sugar; I was just taking this medication daily as if it was my "cure" to diabetes. So I have no clue what range my blood sugar was in before I started the medication nor while I was taking the medication.

During our first OB appointment back in October 2012, I mentioned I was taking this drug and was told to continue it throughout the pregnancy. About 19 weeks in, I questioned taking this medication again and was told by one of the OBs that they usually have patients discontinue taking it at 14 weeks. SERIOUSLY?! You can only imagine how much I DISLIKE taking prescription medications while pregnant since we have NO indication of what caused Chase's congenital heart defect. Unhappy was putting it lightly when I was told this.

At my next appointment, Dr. B decided he wanted me to discontinue the Metformin and start monitoring my blood sugar four times per day, then he would review the numbers at my next appointment 3 weeks later. I didn't love the idea of taking a med while pregnant but I also didn't love the idea of stopping one, either. Ultimately I decided to follow his orders and discontinued the Metformin on Tuesday, January 15, 2013. I then monitored my blood sugar 4x/day.

The first few days, I decided I didn't want to change my diet at all because I wanted to see if the Metformin was truly doing anything to help my blood sugar or not. So I continued to eat all the junk food and bad stuff I've essentially been eating my whole life. I made an effort to eat "better" while pregnant, but I totally sucked at it. The first few days off Metformin, my numbers were still within the range the doctor provided. WOOT! However, after about 3 or 4 days, I started seeing numbers that made me quite nervous. They were getting to be way higher than the safe range.

After about a week off the medication, I called my OB and he told me that, based on the numbers, he wanted to put me on a diabetic medication safe for use during pregnancy to treat Type 2 diabetes called Glyburide. I was completely and fully adamant that I would NOT take another prescription drug during my pregnancy unless absolutely necessary. Luckily, I had the option to try to control my blood sugar with diet.

OMG.

Diet.

A four-letter-word.

It wasn't my favorite solution, but as far as I was concerned, it was the ONLY solution. So I immediately, like as in ONE DAY, completely modified my diet. I would safely say I had been eating at least 4,000 to 5,000 calories per day (Can you imagine?! Hello, American obesity epidemic!). I immediately slashed that to 2,000 (or sometimes a bit less, depending). I learned which foods would keep my blood sugar within range, and which foods (almost ALL of them) would cause huge spikes that weren't safe for the baby. It was insane how drastic my diet changed overnight.

But it would all be worth it if it kept my baby safe. Obviously! And I knew that after 3 weeks of monitoring, I would take the standard glucose tolerance test given to all pregnant women around 28 weeks with the hope that somehow I would pass the test and could discontinue all the finger poking and massive diet changes. It was my glimmer of hope.

Fast-forward 3 weeks into all of these changes, the DAY BEFORE my scheduled glucose tolerance test. I get a call from my OB's office informing me that they are NOT going to give me the glucose test, but that I do need to have some blood drawn before my 9:30 AM appointment.

I couldn't believe it.

It was my one shot!

It was my glimmer of hope that the major lifestyle changes wouldn't be forced to continue!

Basically the thought process was that they had already seen my blood sugar spikes since discontinuing the Metformin and it didn't make sense to them to give me a bunch of sugar when they were already pretty sure how my body would respond.

I was devastated. That doesn't even begin to describe it. I felt like I had lost the game without ever leaving the bench. I wasn't even given a chance. My body had failed me yet again and there was nothing in my power to fix it.

It was like when LO was a baby and I couldn't keep up my milk supply to provide for her and had to supplement with formula WAY earlier than I had hoped and anticipated.

It was like when we found out about Chase's heart diagnosis when I felt like my body had let me and my son down in a major way.

And now it's my body failing yet another child by causing this complication.

I'm a failure.

As a person. And as a mother.

No one understood what I was feeling. Most people were "excited" for me because I wouldn't have to drink that nasty orange-flavored drink. It was as if no one realized just how critical that test was... how it was supposed to be my saving grace that prevented me from having to keep up this radical change in lifestyle.

I had a dark few days where I felt so totally alone... even poor hubs couldn't figure out the "right" thing to say to help me feel better. He didn't quite "get it" either.

What all this meant was that I didn't get a chance to pass that glucose tolerance test. Instead, I get to continue checking my blood sugar 4x/day for the next 3 months. I get to continue eating about 1,800 calories a day for the next 3 months. I get to continue avoiding ALL of my favorite foods for the next 3 months.

Don't get me wrong: keeping my little guy safe and healthy is Priority #1 for me and I'll do ANYTHING and EVERYTHING in my power to be sure he has the best environment possible in which to grow and develop. But I can't hardly put into words the PRESSURE this has put on me. Each and every decision about every meal and every snack... everything has to be carefully and methodically selected to ensure I'm not going to harm my baby.

This is a BIG deal. At least it is to me.

So there you have it. My Gestational Diabetes rant. I fully realize this probably just sounded like a lot of complaining to most people, and I'll admit -- there were a lot of "woe is me" undertones in this post. But when it comes to being pregnant and doing the best for my children, EVERYTHING IS A BIG DEAL.