Cinco | 1 Month

Sweet Cinco is one month old! Silly mommy was SO exhausted from all of the unexpected doctor visits, appointments, and procedures all over the Upstate that I couldn't pull myself together to grab the Nikon and take proper photos. So here are a few pics of my sweet one month old babe!

Enjoy!

The One Where I Vent

Last summer, I shared a lengthy, detailed, and honest post concerning our family's last-minute, unexpected, unplanned decision NOT to return to Classical Conversations (CC) for the 2019-2020 school year. You can check out that post using the link provided for a refresher if need be. There were a LOT of reasons but TL;DR: a lot of it came down to finances compounded with my availability to teach my own children at home vs. spending tons of time prepping to tutor other people's children.

Let me say this was 110% the RIGHT DECISION for our family and I couldn't be more grateful that the Lord has placed us on the path He currently has us on.

But let me take a moment to retrace my steps back to 2016 -- the year my oldest child began the Essentials program with CC.

According to CC's website, "the Essentials of the English Language program is a complete language arts program that takes students beyond the worksheet. Essentials teaches students how to analyze sentence construction thoughtfully. The result is strong language construction and usage skills, both written and oral."

On another CC website, under Essentials FAQs, the question is posed, "Do I need to supplement with an additional language arts program?"

The response from CC states, "The Essentials program offers a complete language arts program. The Essentials of the English Language Guide provides a comprehensive grammar program complete with English grammar, spelling, and punctuation rules. Our writing curriculum teaches the skills needed to write strong paragraphs and essays. There should be no need to have an additional Language Arts program."

This program was marketed to 4th through 6th grade students, and I was ecstatic that LO was going to learn so much! Here's an infographic from CC's website touting all that Essentials students would be learning:

Doesn't that sound simply incredible??

It did to me. And I enrolled LO in Essentials back in 2016 without any real research and without analyzing the program in any way, other than the information that CC provided to me. TBH, I wasn't even able to get my hands on the materials I would be teaching my daughter until a few weeks before the class began, and I had already paid enrollment fees and tuition earlier in the year that were all non-refundable. [Side note: This is something I still have such a hard time understanding. What homeschooling parent would purchase curriculum for their child WITHOUT first laying eyes on the materials?? This same issue would present itself year after year had we decided to continue with CC's Challenge program through middle and high school. You're told to just "trust the system" -- but I have a hard time trusting a system that isn't open and forthcoming with the information it decided you will be teaching your child!]

Back to 2016... LO did amazing her first year! I was so proud and impressed by all that she was digesting and memorizing and learning! The program is designed to be repeated for all three grades (4th - 6th), so it wasn't expected that they "get everything" the first year... they would have two more years to soak it all up.

In 2017, we continued with the Essentials program, but LO and I did it together one-on-one at home instead of with our community since we had the joy of welcoming Squish the summer before the school year began, and I just didn't want too much on my plate at that time. LO thrived with Essentials at home! She continued to master chart after chart and regurgitate all of the information I requested from her. I was so pleased with all she was learning, and was 100% confident she was being exposed to ALL of the English grammar and writing skills necessary for 5th grade students.

In 2018, for LO's third and final tour, I actually tutored one of the Essentials classes at our community. I jumped in with both feet and was so excited to see how LO would be challenged in her final year!

Y'all, she blew.me.away. with her incredible knowledge, memory, and skills! She could diagram a sentence like it was her job! There were several times during tutor prep at home that I would have to ask her to help me prepare my lesson for the class! She really got it, y'all. ALL of it. And then some!

In fact, it was both hilarious and (mostly) frustrating when I would ask questions during my class, only to have a handful of students raise their hands to answer my question all with the same response: "LO knows the answer!" They all thought it was SO funny because honestly, she pretty much DID know the answer every single time! And while this seemed fantastic, on the inside I was beginning to feel very concerned.

This program was designed to take three years. What happens if a student masters it in just two years? As a tutor, my job was to teach ALL of my students, but those first year 4th graders mostly stared at me like deer in headlights, while most of my third year 6th graders were BORED. My LO was absolutely BORED OUT OF HER MIND. Y'all, I paid money to enroll her in the class, purchased the necessary materials, and even spent hours preparing to tutor each week, and my daughter was BORED OUT OF HER MIND the entire time. Looking back now, I see that her last year of Essentials was a total waste of both time and money.

But it gets worse.

As I prepared to homeschool this year, 100% on our own with the complete 🎉freedom🎉 to review and select curricula that is best suited to each of my children, I ended up putting LO in a 9th grade English course. This was based off her performance in Essentials, coupled with my review of the curriculum, and how much of it LO already covered in the previous three years during Essentials.

This year started off great for LO! She was excelling in her 9th grade English course, as well as in all of her other courses. We were running full steam ahead in English through the first several chapters.

Then things started breaking down...

I started realizing she didn't have the grasp of the knowledge I expected her to have.

She was struggling with very basic English grammar concepts.

I was shocked to discover how much she was lacking as we worked together one-on-one with her English curriculum.

I used every tool available to me from the curriculum company.

Review pages.

Concept reinforcements.

Pretests.

Teaching helps.

Nothing I used seemed to make the information click for LO. It was a struggle, and I was heartbroken that my daughter (and I!) had such a false confidence in her skills thanks to her three years in Essentials.

This past weekend, I decided to have LO complete the Accelerated Christian Education diagnostic test for English to discover the learning gaps she was wrestling with. This would allow me to use PACE's (Packets of Accelerated Christian Education) specific to each of her learning gaps to help get her up to grade level in English.

She completed the assessment today and I was floored to discover she has learning gaps in both 4th and 6th grades. In fact, she had failed one PACE at the 4th grade level, and five PACEs at the 6th grade level (there are 12 PACEs per grade).

I was completely devastated to discover just how bad her knowledge of English grammar actually was! She was nowhere near as "advanced" in her English skills as I had previously thought. I feel like I failed her by putting her into a program back in 2016 without asking a single question or making any attempt to investigate whether or not it would meet the necessary requirements that span over three grade levels. I feel like I failed her by keeping continuing to use a curriculum for three years that she had clearly mastered after two, rather than putting her into a more thorough, complete English grammar curriculum.

So after I spent several hours today feeling sorry for myself and feeling such regret for the schooling decisions I've made for my children in the past, I took a few minutes to thank the Lord that He led us away from that path and into the real world where I have complete and total control as the parent of my children to determine what is best for each of them, rather than putting them into a box and "trusting the system" that IMO has done nothing to earn that level of trust with my children's educations.

I shared my frustrations today with fellow homeschoolers, several of whom have previously used CC and/or are currently enrolled in CC, and I was again shocked at what I discovered.

We were NOT the only ones finding these HUGE gaps in CC's Essentials program. In fact, comment after comment after comment only supported my discovery that Essentials is NOT a complete program and WILL likely leave your child with several learning gaps unless you supplement it significantly at home (which, if you're paying hundreds of dollars for a program, you'd expect it not to require supplementation to keep your child at grade level).

Check out a few of the responses I received:

"I had a similar experience with my son. He completed 2 years of essentials and was always the kid with his hand up. He knew a lot of his charts as well. I switched to well-ordered language and he has struggled with some concepts for sure. I realized that he had just learned to anticipate the likely answer for the sentences in the EEL because they were all so predictable based on the lesson. WOL throws in a mixture of sentences from all they have covered which forces you to really know your stuff. WOL also has the kids answer why each word is what it is and identify what it’s modifying while they analyze the sentences. He couldn’t do that easily at all. He’s doing well now but I realized how those contrived sentences based strictly on the lesson didn’t help him to really understand parts of speech and sentence analysis."

"We have to test yearly in MN as a requirement to homeschool. We did First Language Lessons for 1st and 2nd grade then Rod & Staff for 3rd and 4th grade. I did only Essentials for 5th grade and noticed a drop in her score for English. So for 6th grade I went back to Rod & Staff. I get the diagramming and classifications, but they really have no practice for things like prepositions, etc."

"We discovered some major gaps with my middle child after 2 years in essentials...she has really struggled with very basic mechanics like where to put commas, which words to capitalize, etc. We have been working on catching her up all year, but I believe she is still behind where she would have been if I had rejected the essentials hype..."

"My daughter had major gaps. She took the Stanford 10 after 2 years in Essentials. While she placed far above grade level in almost every subject, she placed below level in grammar...I was pretty surprised and disappointed."

"The punctuation and capitalization rules are almost non existent in EEL. Spelling is there but in an afterthought sort of way. I feel like they do an abysmal job teaching about parts of speech and what they actually do. I tutored EEL two years, and had never covered a noun clause at all or verbals in depth until we switched programs this year. Some of the charts are useful, but I don’t think they provide real practical application of knowledge."

"How do you have a 3 year grammar program that’s going to cost somewhere in the ballpark of $1,500 that doesn’t cover punctuation and capitalization, and also doesn’t cover more advanced grammar topics? It blows my mind."

"I agree, there is a lot missing. It is not complete and we have had to fill many holes. It wastes so much time over 3 years."

"Gosh, I could be writing this! My Challenge A student is dissatisfied with Challenge and we will be likely making a change next year. I have been in Essentials for 5 years and I do not love it. I am seeing a lot of gaps based on standardized testing."

"I am not surprised. It never felt like enough regular practice to me and lacked in many ways. We did another Grammar curriculum the entire time we did Essentials. It’s kind of humorous that so many parents stick with it for the price. The included spelling stunk, so I substituted that with another curriculum. The included editing stunk, so I substituted it with something else. The 5 sentences were not enough realistic practice, so I added another curriculum on top of it. The skills (prepositions, types of nouns/verbs, etc.) practice was not existent, so I added that. At the end of the day, what was I even paying for?"

"Essentials is basic and not thorough."

"After 7 years of CC (including Essentials for years) this is our first year out. It’s been a MAJOR gap-filling season for my 14 and 16 year olds."

"I feel vindicated for not buying into EEL. I enrolled my younger child in essentials only for IEW. Knowing how successful Rod & Staff English was for my older child, I stuck with that curriculum for my younger child. CC leaders didn’t agree with my decision, but I’m extremely grateful I had a strong English grammar program and didn’t rely on essentials. When I directed Challenge, it was apparent that many of the kids who had taken essentials struggled with capitalization, punctuation, sentence structure, etc. One of my biggest gripes, though, is that English grammar is a necessary subject for many years, not just during 4th-6th grades."

"I agree 100%. Essentials should be called “non-essential details.” My kids seemed to gain everything BUT the essentials."

"This is one of my biggest pet peeves about Essentials. There is just not enough practice work for the student. And not enough detailed rules regarding punctuation and capitalization - never mind all the various parts of speech and usage. We have used Abeka since about second grade (now in 8th and 10th), and my kids consistently make errors (and they're fairly bright), so I know they need to keep at it. Essentials just doesn't cut it. At all."

Wow.

If my experience alone doesn't communicate the inadequacies of the Essentials program, these comments from other Essentials families surely do!

At the end of the day, after discovering these unexpected weaknesses in my daughter, I'm SUPER disappointed in myself and feel like I let my children down by putting them through CC for four years. However, I also still believe it was God who led us to make the decision to join CC back in 2015, so I know all of the experiences we've had have been part of His will for our family. And that gives me peace.

I also have peace knowing that God is still in control, and He is going to lead us to the next step in the path of His will as we make decisions for our upcoming 2020-2021 school year. There are SO. MANY. OPTIONS. for educating children at home, and I am certain He will lead us to the right fit for us during this season of our home education journey.

The One with the Aftermath

It's been three weeks, y'all.

Three glorious weeks.

Three amazing, inspiring, freeing, enlightening, joy-filled weeks.

Three weeks ago, our family made the decision to leave Classical Conversations and take on our homeschooling journey solo this year.

{ Just as a reminder: We LOVED the people in our co-op. We just didn't agree with the business behind the co-op. Or the cost. Or the time commitment. Or... well, you probably get the idea. }

I honestly cannot even put into words the freedom that followed making this decision. Y'all, we had been fully committed 110% to homeschooling our children through high school with CC. Once we found the program, we jumped in with both feet and never looked back. Unfortunately, we didn't adequately look ahead, either.

I'm not going to take up an entire post to share the 101 reasons why CC is no longer the right fit for my family. Rather, I'd just like to joyfully share what we've been up to these past three weeks, and what we've put together for our school year!

Once we made our decision to leave CC, I immediately went into purge mode. This is the period of time, about a week, during which I sold off all CC-related program materials. For a company that touts "stick in the sand" as its principal educational methodology, y'all, I brought in almost $1,500 by selling all of my CC materials during purge mode. It would likely hurt my feelings to go back and determine how much I actually spent when I originally purchased all of those materials, so suffice it to say CC requires a whole heck of a lot more than a stick and some sand! 💰💰💰😂

Immediately following purge mode, I blissfully entered a season of peaceful rest. This was the point at which I had all.the.freedom.in.the.world. to decide what and how our homeschool would work.

I began by having beautiful conversations with each of my children.

We discussed what THEY were interested in.

What THEY wanted to learn about.

What THEY found exciting and thrilling.

What THEY thought would be fun.

What THEY felt would bring them joy.

And then I started building our plans from there! No more shackles! Instead, we had uninhibited freedom to return to a love of learning! Together--as a family. The way we had intended to do this from the beginning. So much joy there, y'all!

I initially looked into the possibility of joining a local Scholé group that meets in our area. I met with their director, who was amazing, and learned about their program. It was so wonderful! The costs were unbelievably reasonable, all of the parents worked together in a true co-op environment, the children had a restful pace of learning, and the curricula was simple and beautiful. They met once per week, with field trips scheduled every month, and it overall appeared to be a wonderful solution for my family.

However, after talking with my kids, we all agreed we were so unbelievably grateful for our newfound freedom that we didn't want to be tethered by a weekly community day. We wanted to embrace a relaxed schedule of doing whatever we wanted to do, whenever we wanted to do it. Hubs and I discussed and prayed over the decision, and felt confirmation to continue on our own this year. 💜

Thus began the process of selecting curricula for my kiddos! It's been a joyful and exciting process for me! I've loved being able to choose materials that my children and I will love. Here's how it's shaping up (for those who are interested in the details):

// HISTORY

LO is excited about preparing to take the US History I CLEP exam in the spring, and we both felt it would be perfect to study American History as a family this year. I'm super stoked about this because we would have been studying Medieval History with our previous co-op, and none of my kids were very thrilled about that. I found this incredible program called America the Beautiful from Notgrass History.

What I love about America the Beautiful is that it combines American history, geography, and literature into one course! It combines the flexibility and richness of a unit study with the simplicity of a textbook-based approach to history. There are daily lessons to guide students chronologically through American history, highlighting key events, people, and places. And I love the corresponding literature book selections! And did I mention there is a cookbook that has recipes from all of the states to create and enjoy? This one is going to be great! Even though the course is designed for 5th - 8th grade, I plan to have Chase complete this course with LO, and will have E listen along to the readings and work on related coloring pages, activity sheets, etc. So ALL of us will be learning from ONE course TOGETHER. YAY!

// SCIENCE

When I asked LO what she wanted to study for science, she eagerly listed a plethora of interests! This didn't surprise me as my girl loves her some science! When gently forced to limit her choices to her top 3 or 4, she went with Astronomy, Minerals, Weather, and Oceans. That seemed super specific to me, but I was intent to find what she wanted. Imagine my surprise when I discovered General Science 1 from Master Books! It perfectly fit the bill!

One of the things that sold me on this program (besides the extremely reasonable price tag!) was the fact that the Teacher Guide included a weekly lesson schedule, the student worksheets, the quizzes and tests, and the answer key--all on ONE book. No separate workbooks or answer keys or added costs. EASY, y'all.

My kiddos and I will explore oceans, astronomy, weather, and minerals and discover fascinating facts, incredible wonders, captivating creatures, and God’s glory on display throughout creation! This course is designed for 7th - 12th grades, but we plan to use it with the whole family, adjusting as needed for Chase and E.

// SPANISH

Our family is thrilled to switch things up this year and move on from Latin to Spanish! I did a lot of research to find a program that wasn't workbook-driven, was designed for children, would work well for kids of various ages, and be fun and engaging at an easy pace. That's a lot to ask for! Thankfully, all signs pointed to La Clase Divertida!

I was concerned that the video samples look like they were filmed in 1987, but I looked past that and enjoyed how engaging it was for the room full of students. There are a lot of great activities that go along with the program, and I can't wait for us to go through this program together!

// ENGLISH

This is one area where my kiddos will receive individual instruction while working through resources I selected specifically for their reading and writing levels. I chose BJU Press materials for LO and Chase, so there will be some helpful similarities and continuity within the two programs.

Chase will be using English 4 Writing & Grammar. This will be his first year using an official writing program, and I'm super thrilled at what we will cover! Parts of speech and sentence structures are examined in detail to help him gain a mastery of grammar. The writing process is explained step-by-step to be implemented in a variety of writing assignments, including a personal narrative, a research report, and a business letter. I just love this! 💙

Choosing a level for LO was a bit more involved. Luckily, I was at the BJU Educators Marketplace down the street from the BJU campus, and could flip through the various grade levels. This was SUCH a blessing, because I'm not sure we would've ended up with what we did had I not had the opportunity to flip through the pages of the books.

I started with Writing & Grammar 7, looked through the table of contents, and started flipping through the pages. Everything I read, she already knew. So I grabbed Writing & Grammar 8. SAME. Then I went for Writing & Grammar 9.

Near the end of Chapter 1, after discussing the four kinds of sentences, subjects and predicates, basic sentence patterns, and fragments, they introduced and discussed comma splices and fused sentences. Eureka! These were concepts I was certain she was not familiar with. So I landed on 9th grade English for LO. She couldn't be more thrilled to finally learn something new after spending the past 3 years going over the same information she had pretty much mastered the first year.

For E, I'm going to use Language Smarts Level B from The Critical Thinking Co. It's a single workbook that is a full Language Arts curriculum. E still isn't reading independently, so we've been spending lots of time working on letters and sounds, as well as reading simple words. We'll use this comprehensive workbook to teach reading, writing, grammar, and punctuation skills and concepts that students are expected to know in first grade. E will also develop critical thinking, vocabulary, and several other skills and concepts normally taught in second grade. I'm excited to see how his reading and writing skills look at the end of the year after completing this workbook!

// MATH

This is another area where my kiddos will receive individual instruction. LO's curriculum is still a big question mark at this point. We've jumped around a bit over the past 5 years from Singapore to Saxon to Teaching Textbooks, back to Saxon, and back to Teaching Textbooks. I'm afraid our inability to find a suitable math program for her has left her with significant gaps. I'm currently looking for a mastery-based math program for her. I'll have her take a placement test when I find the right curriculum, but I wouldn't be surprised if we'll go back a level or two in order to ensure she has a solid understanding of the basics.

Chase is still killing it with Teaching Textbooks 5, so we're going to continue with it. I LOVE that it's all online and I don't have to do any grading! It's a very hands-off program, which is working wonderfully for him (and me!).

For E, I have decided to try Master Books' Math Lessons for a Living Education: Level 1. This story-based approach invites students to participate in the story, make mathematical connections, explore the world around them, and realize the value of math in their own lives. I'm excited to start our first real math program together! E really loves numbers and has done well with learning his skip counting, so this ought to be a fun adventure for us!

Of course there are several additional programs I'll be using this year for spelling, accounting, typing, coding, piano, etc. And I'm also thrilled to already have several field trips lined up for the fall semester. Everything is falling into place, and I couldn't be more grateful that God has led us here. All of us are incredibly excited to get into the full routine of our school year!

The One with the Unexpected Turn of Events

Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher, has been quoted as saying, “change is the only constant in life.”

Well, let me tell you, friends: we just experienced a MAJOR change over this past weekend. Let me hit you with some back story.

We first made the decision to homeschool back in June 2014. We started homeschooling when LO was entering 2nd grade. Well, technically, we started earlier than that -- not by choice (refer to #3 in that link). Our first year was good, but I felt we were lacking both community and accountability.

Enter Classical Conversations!

I once wrote a very detailed post about CC and what it offers. In summary? A lot. It offers a lot! We were sold on the incredible program and had every intention of taking our kids through high school with Classical Conversations.

We attended our very first day of community in September of 2015. How cute are these tiny (slightly blurry) littles?

However, our plans came to an incredibly unexpected and screeching halt over the weekend.

Late last Saturday night, hubs and I made the decision to leave Classical Conversations.

((insert GASP! here))

It's really strange because it wasn't like "some big thing happened" that suddenly changed our minds. Rather, it was simply a focused reflection over the past several months, coupled with an intentional deep dive of how the next 16(ish) years would unfold. For our family, what we gleaned was unsettling to say the least.

Here's what I will freely say: For four years, we had, without a doubt, the BEST Classical Conversations community of families that ever existed in all of mankind. It's true! We loved our community, we had an incredible Director, the families were always loving, caring, and supportive of each other, and our children made wonderful friends there. If you're reading this and you're one of those families, please know how much we love you and how much we will miss you on Tuesdays! (But pretty please, can we still have play dates?)

At the end of the day, finances played a big role in our decision. When it was time to re-enroll back in February, we were shocked to see the application fees for our boys' programs increased 70%! That's a pretty significant hike! It was disappointing, but again, we felt committed that CC was THE homeschool plan for our family, so we paid it and applied for the 2019-2020 school year.

I'll be honest--a cloud of doubt began to circle around that time because I just couldn't understand why corporate fees would need to increase so significantly in one year. Especially when you're essentially dealing with single-income, Christian homeschooling families. But again -- committed to the program -- we jumped ahead with both feet, which, coincidentally, is the only way I know how to commit to things. 😜

So one day, fueled solely by curiosity, I decided to put together a spreadsheet outlining our homeschool plans to educate our 4 children through CC. It was kind of like this colorful example below, but it included each of our kids' names, as well as the tuition cost for each child, for each year, through 2035 thankyouverymuch!

I will add that the numbers I used in my spreadsheet were based solely on the CURRENT tuition costs for the programs (which, like any program, will likely increase over the next 16 years), and DID NOT include application, supply, or facility fees, or ANY of the additional curriculum or supplies we would need in order to successfully complete each year with our CC community.

Y'all, I won't disclose any numbers here (I'll encourage you to do it for yourself--it's quite enlightening!), but I will just say, without a doubt, that it was A LOT.

And I get it -- it's not as much as a private school education or whatever else... okay. But it's HOMESCHOOLING. Something the Lord has called us to do for our children. Something I am actually quite capable of doing on my own (with the Lord's direction) if desired. For free--or at the very least, much cheaper.

It was a LOT, y'all.

And it's not like all of that money would directly bless my amazing local community. Registration fees? Corporate. An appalling almost 25% of tuition (for Challenge programs)? Corporate. Why would I want to send our hard-earned money off to a corporation in the business of making money, while I would be the one doing all the heavy lifting of schooling my own children at home every day as well as directing a room full of students one day a week for 30 weeks?

I then quickly came to this realization, which is probably the second greatest factor in why we made the decision we did for our family:

There is no way, given our current circumstances, that we could afford to participate in a Classical Conversations community through high school for all 4 of our children UNLESS I TUTOR OR DIRECT A PROGRAM EVERY.SINGLE.YEAR.

This was both enlightening and devastating to me all in the very same instant.

I am certainly grateful that CC provides opportunities for parents to tutor or direct their programs.

But y'all. Would those opportunities happen to exist for me each and every year as I'd need them to?

Hmmm...

So what was the greatest factor in why we made the decision we made for our family? This thought/realization:

HOW MUCH OF ME ARE MY CHILDREN GOING TO LOSE AS A RESULT OF THE COMMITMENT I'VE MADE TO LEAD STUDENTS EVERY WEEK IN COMMUNITY?

At the elementary level, this really wouldn't be that significant.

But for leading programs for middle and high school students? It would, without a doubt, be several hours each week of my time focused on preparing lesson plans for discussion in class--rather than cuddling up with my kids to read stories, work through annoyingly difficult math problems, or go for nature walks.

Sure, there are lots of amazingly qualified moms and dads who welcome this responsibility each year. And I trust they are rock stars at it whose kids don't suffer as I anticipate mine would.

Did I mention I had planned to direct one of the middle school programs this year? It would be my first time directing. Normally I like to PREPARE! PREPARE! PREPARE! like 12,000 years ahead of time because I'm all kinds of OCD/Type A like that.

But June arrived and for some reason I wasn't jumping in with both feet.

Since my family started our homeschool year on June 3rd, I decided I would just put my focus on my kids for the month of June, making sure we were all in the swing of things with our supplemental curriculum, and wait until July to dive into my preparations to direct.

July then arrived. It was almost half over when I realized I hadn't yet buckled down and started the heavy workload of prep needed to effectively lead a class 12- and 13-year-olds in the classical studies of debate, exposition, grammar, logic, reasoning, and research.

What was going on???

The prior year, I had tutored a class of 4th-6th graders in our community and I vividly remember excitedly preparing and planning and laminating all.the.things. the summer beforehand in anticipation of a wonderful year.

But that wasn't the case this time.

What was going on???

I had to look deep inside my heart to figure this out. I had to plead to the Lord for answers since I trusted He knew me better than I knew myself. I had to cry out for explanations for the massive confusion I was feeling!

I thought we had a plan! I thought you and I were on the same page, God! Why does this suddenly not seem right?

Lots of tears ensued. Lots of discussions with hubs. Lots of prayers and Scripture searching.

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” - Psalm 32:8

It wasn't until last week that we started getting the feeling that perhaps God was telling us that CC may no longer be His plan for our family. And I begrudgingly began to accept that... with the expectation that He was referring to NEXT year. I mean, I had already enrolled my children for the fall, and had already committed to leading one of the programs this year. Obviously whatever God is trying to tell me only applies to NEXT year.

Or did it??

Now we're all caught up and it's (last) Saturday night. I said it without even realizing what I was saying:

What if we don't go back this year?

((gasp))

The thought had NEVER occurred to me until that very moment.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” - Joshua 1:9

The first thoughts I had after making that statement were, "What would happen to the families enrolled in the program I was committed to direct? What would happen if they weren't able to find someone else to take it over? How could God possibly be calling me to make a decision that could potentially have a negative impact on families and friends I loved so dearly?"

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” - Jeremiah 29:11

Here's the thing: If I have to make a decision concerning what is best for my children vs. what is best for my (beloved) community, I will choose my children every.single.time.

Spoiler alert, y'all: God is BIGGER than you. He's GREATER than your circumstances. He's WORKING in ways beyond your four walls that you can't even imagine.

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” - Deuteronomy 31:8 

At the end of the day--quite literally as I believe it was around 1:15 AM--hubs and I had resolved to leave Classical Conversations this year.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7 

Sunday morning we had an incredible day of worship (as usual!) at church, followed by lunch at Culver's (SHOCKER!). Once we were home after lunch, we sat the kids down to share the news with them. They really surprised us! I was concerned with how they'd react, but all of them were totally fine with the decision! Of course, they each mentioned how much they'd miss their friends, but ultimately they were excited to chart a new course together as a family.

After speaking with the kids, I made the phone calls I needed to make to officially resign my position as director, and leave our beloved CC community.

God has been faithful--as if there were ever any doubt--and has brought an incredibly awesome individual forward to take my place in directing the program I stepped away from. Isn't He the BEST, Jerry?? THE BEST!!

So where does that leave my family?

Umm... I'm not quite sure! I honestly have absolutely no idea which doors God will open for us this year. I am seeking His direction and have a few thoughts in mind. But at the end of the day, I am pressing through the fear, surrendering it all to the One who holds us in His loving hands.

Even now, I can look back and see how God was paving this path for us (without my knowledge or consent--the nerve!). haha! And I can't even describe the peace He has provided in this midst of this decision! It's difficult for people like me to not have all.the.things. planned out, but I know God is capable of bringing about so much good through this surrendered decision, and I am choosing to rest comfortably in His grace.

If you'd like more information on what we selected for our 2019-2020 curriculum, check out this post.

If you'd like to hear me vent about CC's Essentials grammar program and how it failed my oldest, check out this post.

First Day of CC!

Just a quick post to document that today was our first day at our Classical Conversations (CC) community! We started our homeschool at the beginning of August, but our co-op fun started today! I'm not sure why, but I was nervous about our morning. Lots of reasons, but I'm pretty sure one of them was because this morning was my first time leaving the house with all four kids by myself! Yes, if you're keeping track, Squishy is already 2 months old. What can I say? I have a super awesome hubby! But I wanted to take all of them for our first day, even though it would've been way easier to leave Squish at home with daddy. ;)

I'm excited about the year of CC we have ahead of us! It's going to be awesome! I know God has big plans for my family and I simply adore watching my kiddos soaking up God's Word and learning all about Him and the world He made. Homeschooling is the bomb!

Of course I have pics of the kiddos...

First up? My NEW-TO-CC little BABY boy, E! Can you believe he's already in a K4 program? Oh, my heart!!!

Next up is Chase, rocking out 2nd Grade!

This little beauty of mine is -- get this! -- in 5th Grade! What?!

She loved her twirly dress for our first day!

My sweet little loves!

We arrived at CC (a few minutes early!) this morning so I could take a picture at the church as I have done each year. Let me just add here: All of you AWESOME mamas who get your kids up, fed, dressed, and out the door to school with backpacks and lunches packed FIVE DAYS A WEEK are my heroes. I barely managed this morning. Just ONE morning. And with a VERY helpful hubby. I literally napped for two hours when we got home from co-op. Y'all are literally all kinds of amazing!

Here's their 2016 pic from last year (my apologies for the terrible lighting and lack of editing!):

And their first year at CC from 2015! Look how little!

I'm happy to report that we survived our day! I still feel a bit anxious about our CC year, but I think it's mostly due to the work I need to do with the kids at home this year (LO most specifically). But I trust God, and I know He brought us to this place and that He will equip me to be the very best teacher for my sweet kiddos. I pray for their hearts as well as their minds as we see where He leads us. Now, let's see how much sleep I can stockpile before our next early morning next Tuesday! :)

The {L-O-N-G} One About Classical Conversations

Hey, y'all! I've been meaning to write this post for over 8 months... it's a bit delayed to say the least, but finally here! It's basically the one about homeschooling and why I chose Classical Conversations and what is Classical Conversations and what does a day in the life of a Classical Conversations homeschooling family look like and why I choose to never ever ever write run-on sentences--haha! 

Come along, and enjoy a vicarious peek into our world, won't you?

Whew! This is my second year of homeschooling and our first year in Classical Conversations. I must say... I am thrilled with this program and everything my kids are learning! We have completed 21 of our 24 weeks of CC, and I am simply astonished at what God has taught all of us this year!

I wasn't too sure about Classical Conversations in the beginning, because I do NOT think of us as a "classical" family. But I didn't have a true understanding of the word! After some research, meeting with our (amazing) CC community director before the school year began, and plenty of prayer over the decision, we ultimately felt like this would be the best fit for our family. And it's not a one-year thing: once you're into CC, you're kind of committed! But that's a good thing are we're excited about it! {Warning: I'm about to throw down a seriously detailed description of classical education... you have been warned!} This program is awesome because it utilizes the three stages of learning: Grammar, Dialectic, and Rhetoric. Here's a quick summary for you and what it means for our current homeschool situ!

Grammar isn't only what I'm sure you're already thinking -- it's actually learning the words and terms associated with a subject -- any subject. English, of course, but also Math, Latin, Science, Geography... you name it! Grammar is essentially learning the vocabulary, or "building blocks," of a subject. This stage is fun for kids because they get to put their grammar to music, learning repeating songs, chanting rhymes, etc. There are some seriously catchy tunes in CC and I've found myself singing them at random throughout any given day. ;)

Both LO (3rd) and Chase (Kindergarten) are currently in CC's Foundations course, which is the Grammar stage experience in their classical education. Both of them are learning the SAME MATERIAL (insert Hallelujah Chorus here), making it incredibly easy for me to work with them each week. Can I get an Amen?

The next stage is the Dialectic stage where students ask questions, sort, compare, and practice the knowledge they learned in the Grammar stage. Much of the work done in this process is accomplished through dialogue. This stage is broken down into CC's Essentials course, covering 4th grade through 6th grade. It continues through Challenge A and Challenge B for 7th and 8th grade, respectively.

The final stage of learning is the Rhetoric stage. This is essentially communicating the truth of subjects learned in the Dialectic stage through writing, speech, and conversation. In CC, this would be Challenge I, II, III, and IV, the equivalents of high school. This stage gives teenagers a chance to express themselves and be creative problem solvers... exactly what they want to do at that age. Win! 

{If you're interested in learning more about the classical foundation of education, check out this link from the official CC website.}

Understanding the classical model of education was a big catalyst in our decision to go with CC. Breaking it down further only served to encourage the decision. The Mission of CC, for example? This. Is. My. Heart!

MISSION: The purpose of education is to know God and to make Him known.  

MODEL: We combine classical learning with a biblical worldview.  

METHOD: In Classical Conversations communities, parents equip parents and encourage students. 

So the decision was made to join CC last summer, and we couldn't be more happy with this! Teaching our children is a calling God placed on my heart, and I believe He even calls us to do so through the Scriptures. Deuteronomy 6:6-7 states, "And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise." {Side note: Those words Moses spoke of when he shared what the Lord commanded His people? "Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might." Incredibly important stuff we're responsible for diligently teaching our children IMO.}

So basically, we should be teaching our children All. The. Time. How could I accomplish this if I didn't have the kids with me All. The. Time? Additionally, I can't imagine missing out on 8 hours of their lives 5 days per week while their learning is taking place outside of our home, outside of our "jurisdiction," and outside of God's calling for us. {Disclaimer: I fully believe not every family may feel led to school their children at home and that is perfectly alright! I would never want to come across as "shaming" parents for making the choice that is right for their family. Please don't ever mistake my passion for our homeschooling lifestyle as an insinuation that ALL families should be doing it. They shouldn't.}

As a CC family, we meet with our amazing, outstanding, incredible CC community every Tuesday morning for Community Day. Tuesdays are the best, aren't they? Well, they aren't Mondays, so that makes them pretty awesome!

Each Tuesday morning we follow the same schedule^*:

* Our family does not currently participate in the afternoon Essentials Program, but we will begin next year since LO will be in 4th grade.

One other handy gem of info about CC is that it goes in cycles. Three cycles, to be exact. This year, they happened to be on Cycle 1, which, if you know me, was a clear sign from God that we should be a CC family. My OCD could not have possibly handled "starting" a brand new year in a new program on Cycle 2 or Cycle 3... ;)

Here's a little breakdown of what each cycle covers:

As for this year in Cycle 1, we've been busy memorizing a TON of information! There are over 400 facts, figures, and information that both LO and Chase (and me!) have memorized this year. I think I may have learned more in one year with CC than I learned during my entire tenure in public education! I'll just leave that there. ;) haha!

• 161 events and people in a chronological timeline beginning from Creation through the Present
• 44 U.S. Presidents
• 24 history sentences
• 120 locations and geographic features in Africa, Europe, and the Old World
• 24 science facts, including classifications of living things and each continent's highest mountain
• 5 Latin noun endings and their singular and plural declensions
• English grammar facts, including 53 prepositions, 23 helping verbs, and 12 linking verbs
• Multiplication tables up to 15x15, common squares and cubes, basic geometry formulas and unit conversions
• Exposure to drawing techniques
• Music theory and tin whistle
• 6 great artists and related projects
• Introduction to orchestra and 3 classical composers
• 12 science experiments, 12 science projects
• 24 oral presentations
• Memorization of Exodus 20:1-20

Wow, right? This program is very impressive and our family is blessed to be a part of the CC community. It is my hope and dream that, if God is willing and continues to provide, we will continue with Classical Conversations for all three of our kids through High School. I certainly don't think this will be an easy task, but I truly believe it is what God is calling us to do and is in the very best interest of our children and their futures.

Here's an encouraging infographic from the CC 2016 Catalog regarding the success of CC students:

WHEW. If you made it this far, congratulations and I look forward to seeing you at the dinner table now that you are officially a part of our family. ;) But in all seriousness, I can't possibly tell you how much we appreciate the love, support, and prayers of our family and friends with this homeschooling venture of ours. God has called us to this journey and I couldn't be more grateful for the joy and privilege of witnessing my kids understand a new concept for the first time, for spending countless hours in our pajamas singing and memorizing, for impromptu science experiments, for including housework/chores in a typical school day, and for so much more that I can't even express. Y'all watch my Twitter, IG and FB posts, though, so I know you know how much fun we're having!

Love y'all!

First Day of CC!

What an awesome FIRST DAY OF CLASSICAL CONVERSATIONS we had today! Technically, last Tuesday, August 25th, was our VERY first day, but it was an Orientation day, so not quite "official" IMO. ;)

Check out my lovey littles...

LO's first day of 3rd grade, in Foundations class!

Chase's first day of Kindergarten, also in Foundations class!

E's first day of, well, being in the nursery during Foundations class!

Love these kiddos, and I'm SO excited for all that God has in store for them to learn this year!!!