The One with the Aftermath

It's been three weeks, y'all.

Three glorious weeks.

Three amazing, inspiring, freeing, enlightening, joy-filled weeks.

Three weeks ago, our family made the decision to leave Classical Conversations and take on our homeschooling journey solo this year.

{ Just as a reminder: We LOVED the people in our co-op. We just didn't agree with the business behind the co-op. Or the cost. Or the time commitment. Or... well, you probably get the idea. }

I honestly cannot even put into words the freedom that followed making this decision. Y'all, we had been fully committed 110% to homeschooling our children through high school with CC. Once we found the program, we jumped in with both feet and never looked back. Unfortunately, we didn't adequately look ahead, either.

I'm not going to take up an entire post to share the 101 reasons why CC is no longer the right fit for my family. Rather, I'd just like to joyfully share what we've been up to these past three weeks, and what we've put together for our school year!

Once we made our decision to leave CC, I immediately went into purge mode. This is the period of time, about a week, during which I sold off all CC-related program materials. For a company that touts "stick in the sand" as its principal educational methodology, y'all, I brought in almost $1,500 by selling all of my CC materials during purge mode. It would likely hurt my feelings to go back and determine how much I actually spent when I originally purchased all of those materials, so suffice it to say CC requires a whole heck of a lot more than a stick and some sand! 💰💰💰😂

Immediately following purge mode, I blissfully entered a season of peaceful rest. This was the point at which I had all.the.freedom.in.the.world. to decide what and how our homeschool would work.

I began by having beautiful conversations with each of my children.

We discussed what THEY were interested in.

What THEY wanted to learn about.

What THEY found exciting and thrilling.

What THEY thought would be fun.

What THEY felt would bring them joy.

And then I started building our plans from there! No more shackles! Instead, we had uninhibited freedom to return to a love of learning! Together--as a family. The way we had intended to do this from the beginning. So much joy there, y'all!

I initially looked into the possibility of joining a local Scholé group that meets in our area. I met with their director, who was amazing, and learned about their program. It was so wonderful! The costs were unbelievably reasonable, all of the parents worked together in a true co-op environment, the children had a restful pace of learning, and the curricula was simple and beautiful. They met once per week, with field trips scheduled every month, and it overall appeared to be a wonderful solution for my family.

However, after talking with my kids, we all agreed we were so unbelievably grateful for our newfound freedom that we didn't want to be tethered by a weekly community day. We wanted to embrace a relaxed schedule of doing whatever we wanted to do, whenever we wanted to do it. Hubs and I discussed and prayed over the decision, and felt confirmation to continue on our own this year. 💜

Thus began the process of selecting curricula for my kiddos! It's been a joyful and exciting process for me! I've loved being able to choose materials that my children and I will love. Here's how it's shaping up (for those who are interested in the details):

// HISTORY

LO is excited about preparing to take the US History I CLEP exam in the spring, and we both felt it would be perfect to study American History as a family this year. I'm super stoked about this because we would have been studying Medieval History with our previous co-op, and none of my kids were very thrilled about that. I found this incredible program called America the Beautiful from Notgrass History.

What I love about America the Beautiful is that it combines American history, geography, and literature into one course! It combines the flexibility and richness of a unit study with the simplicity of a textbook-based approach to history. There are daily lessons to guide students chronologically through American history, highlighting key events, people, and places. And I love the corresponding literature book selections! And did I mention there is a cookbook that has recipes from all of the states to create and enjoy? This one is going to be great! Even though the course is designed for 5th - 8th grade, I plan to have Chase complete this course with LO, and will have E listen along to the readings and work on related coloring pages, activity sheets, etc. So ALL of us will be learning from ONE course TOGETHER. YAY!

// SCIENCE

When I asked LO what she wanted to study for science, she eagerly listed a plethora of interests! This didn't surprise me as my girl loves her some science! When gently forced to limit her choices to her top 3 or 4, she went with Astronomy, Minerals, Weather, and Oceans. That seemed super specific to me, but I was intent to find what she wanted. Imagine my surprise when I discovered General Science 1 from Master Books! It perfectly fit the bill!

One of the things that sold me on this program (besides the extremely reasonable price tag!) was the fact that the Teacher Guide included a weekly lesson schedule, the student worksheets, the quizzes and tests, and the answer key--all on ONE book. No separate workbooks or answer keys or added costs. EASY, y'all.

My kiddos and I will explore oceans, astronomy, weather, and minerals and discover fascinating facts, incredible wonders, captivating creatures, and God’s glory on display throughout creation! This course is designed for 7th - 12th grades, but we plan to use it with the whole family, adjusting as needed for Chase and E.

// SPANISH

Our family is thrilled to switch things up this year and move on from Latin to Spanish! I did a lot of research to find a program that wasn't workbook-driven, was designed for children, would work well for kids of various ages, and be fun and engaging at an easy pace. That's a lot to ask for! Thankfully, all signs pointed to La Clase Divertida!

I was concerned that the video samples look like they were filmed in 1987, but I looked past that and enjoyed how engaging it was for the room full of students. There are a lot of great activities that go along with the program, and I can't wait for us to go through this program together!

// ENGLISH

This is one area where my kiddos will receive individual instruction while working through resources I selected specifically for their reading and writing levels. I chose BJU Press materials for LO and Chase, so there will be some helpful similarities and continuity within the two programs.

Chase will be using English 4 Writing & Grammar. This will be his first year using an official writing program, and I'm super thrilled at what we will cover! Parts of speech and sentence structures are examined in detail to help him gain a mastery of grammar. The writing process is explained step-by-step to be implemented in a variety of writing assignments, including a personal narrative, a research report, and a business letter. I just love this! 💙

Choosing a level for LO was a bit more involved. Luckily, I was at the BJU Educators Marketplace down the street from the BJU campus, and could flip through the various grade levels. This was SUCH a blessing, because I'm not sure we would've ended up with what we did had I not had the opportunity to flip through the pages of the books.

I started with Writing & Grammar 7, looked through the table of contents, and started flipping through the pages. Everything I read, she already knew. So I grabbed Writing & Grammar 8. SAME. Then I went for Writing & Grammar 9.

Near the end of Chapter 1, after discussing the four kinds of sentences, subjects and predicates, basic sentence patterns, and fragments, they introduced and discussed comma splices and fused sentences. Eureka! These were concepts I was certain she was not familiar with. So I landed on 9th grade English for LO. She couldn't be more thrilled to finally learn something new after spending the past 3 years going over the same information she had pretty much mastered the first year.

For E, I'm going to use Language Smarts Level B from The Critical Thinking Co. It's a single workbook that is a full Language Arts curriculum. E still isn't reading independently, so we've been spending lots of time working on letters and sounds, as well as reading simple words. We'll use this comprehensive workbook to teach reading, writing, grammar, and punctuation skills and concepts that students are expected to know in first grade. E will also develop critical thinking, vocabulary, and several other skills and concepts normally taught in second grade. I'm excited to see how his reading and writing skills look at the end of the year after completing this workbook!

// MATH

This is another area where my kiddos will receive individual instruction. LO's curriculum is still a big question mark at this point. We've jumped around a bit over the past 5 years from Singapore to Saxon to Teaching Textbooks, back to Saxon, and back to Teaching Textbooks. I'm afraid our inability to find a suitable math program for her has left her with significant gaps. I'm currently looking for a mastery-based math program for her. I'll have her take a placement test when I find the right curriculum, but I wouldn't be surprised if we'll go back a level or two in order to ensure she has a solid understanding of the basics.

Chase is still killing it with Teaching Textbooks 5, so we're going to continue with it. I LOVE that it's all online and I don't have to do any grading! It's a very hands-off program, which is working wonderfully for him (and me!).

For E, I have decided to try Master Books' Math Lessons for a Living Education: Level 1. This story-based approach invites students to participate in the story, make mathematical connections, explore the world around them, and realize the value of math in their own lives. I'm excited to start our first real math program together! E really loves numbers and has done well with learning his skip counting, so this ought to be a fun adventure for us!

Of course there are several additional programs I'll be using this year for spelling, accounting, typing, coding, piano, etc. And I'm also thrilled to already have several field trips lined up for the fall semester. Everything is falling into place, and I couldn't be more grateful that God has led us here. All of us are incredibly excited to get into the full routine of our school year!

The One with the Unexpected Turn of Events

Heraclitus, a Greek philosopher, has been quoted as saying, “change is the only constant in life.”

Well, let me tell you, friends: we just experienced a MAJOR change over this past weekend. Let me hit you with some back story.

We first made the decision to homeschool back in June 2014. We started homeschooling when LO was entering 2nd grade. Well, technically, we started earlier than that -- not by choice (refer to #3 in that link). Our first year was good, but I felt we were lacking both community and accountability.

Enter Classical Conversations!

I once wrote a very detailed post about CC and what it offers. In summary? A lot. It offers a lot! We were sold on the incredible program and had every intention of taking our kids through high school with Classical Conversations.

We attended our very first day of community in September of 2015. How cute are these tiny (slightly blurry) littles?

However, our plans came to an incredibly unexpected and screeching halt over the weekend.

Late last Saturday night, hubs and I made the decision to leave Classical Conversations.

((insert GASP! here))

It's really strange because it wasn't like "some big thing happened" that suddenly changed our minds. Rather, it was simply a focused reflection over the past several months, coupled with an intentional deep dive of how the next 16(ish) years would unfold. For our family, what we gleaned was unsettling to say the least.

Here's what I will freely say: For four years, we had, without a doubt, the BEST Classical Conversations community of families that ever existed in all of mankind. It's true! We loved our community, we had an incredible Director, the families were always loving, caring, and supportive of each other, and our children made wonderful friends there. If you're reading this and you're one of those families, please know how much we love you and how much we will miss you on Tuesdays! (But pretty please, can we still have play dates?)

At the end of the day, finances played a big role in our decision. When it was time to re-enroll back in February, we were shocked to see the application fees for our boys' programs increased 70%! That's a pretty significant hike! It was disappointing, but again, we felt committed that CC was THE homeschool plan for our family, so we paid it and applied for the 2019-2020 school year.

I'll be honest--a cloud of doubt began to circle around that time because I just couldn't understand why corporate fees would need to increase so significantly in one year. Especially when you're essentially dealing with single-income, Christian homeschooling families. But again -- committed to the program -- we jumped ahead with both feet, which, coincidentally, is the only way I know how to commit to things. 😜

So one day, fueled solely by curiosity, I decided to put together a spreadsheet outlining our homeschool plans to educate our 4 children through CC. It was kind of like this colorful example below, but it included each of our kids' names, as well as the tuition cost for each child, for each year, through 2035 thankyouverymuch!

I will add that the numbers I used in my spreadsheet were based solely on the CURRENT tuition costs for the programs (which, like any program, will likely increase over the next 16 years), and DID NOT include application, supply, or facility fees, or ANY of the additional curriculum or supplies we would need in order to successfully complete each year with our CC community.

Y'all, I won't disclose any numbers here (I'll encourage you to do it for yourself--it's quite enlightening!), but I will just say, without a doubt, that it was A LOT.

And I get it -- it's not as much as a private school education or whatever else... okay. But it's HOMESCHOOLING. Something the Lord has called us to do for our children. Something I am actually quite capable of doing on my own (with the Lord's direction) if desired. For free--or at the very least, much cheaper.

It was a LOT, y'all.

And it's not like all of that money would directly bless my amazing local community. Registration fees? Corporate. An appalling almost 25% of tuition (for Challenge programs)? Corporate. Why would I want to send our hard-earned money off to a corporation in the business of making money, while I would be the one doing all the heavy lifting of schooling my own children at home every day as well as directing a room full of students one day a week for 30 weeks?

I then quickly came to this realization, which is probably the second greatest factor in why we made the decision we did for our family:

There is no way, given our current circumstances, that we could afford to participate in a Classical Conversations community through high school for all 4 of our children UNLESS I TUTOR OR DIRECT A PROGRAM EVERY.SINGLE.YEAR.

This was both enlightening and devastating to me all in the very same instant.

I am certainly grateful that CC provides opportunities for parents to tutor or direct their programs.

But y'all. Would those opportunities happen to exist for me each and every year as I'd need them to?

Hmmm...

So what was the greatest factor in why we made the decision we made for our family? This thought/realization:

HOW MUCH OF ME ARE MY CHILDREN GOING TO LOSE AS A RESULT OF THE COMMITMENT I'VE MADE TO LEAD STUDENTS EVERY WEEK IN COMMUNITY?

At the elementary level, this really wouldn't be that significant.

But for leading programs for middle and high school students? It would, without a doubt, be several hours each week of my time focused on preparing lesson plans for discussion in class--rather than cuddling up with my kids to read stories, work through annoyingly difficult math problems, or go for nature walks.

Sure, there are lots of amazingly qualified moms and dads who welcome this responsibility each year. And I trust they are rock stars at it whose kids don't suffer as I anticipate mine would.

Did I mention I had planned to direct one of the middle school programs this year? It would be my first time directing. Normally I like to PREPARE! PREPARE! PREPARE! like 12,000 years ahead of time because I'm all kinds of OCD/Type A like that.

But June arrived and for some reason I wasn't jumping in with both feet.

Since my family started our homeschool year on June 3rd, I decided I would just put my focus on my kids for the month of June, making sure we were all in the swing of things with our supplemental curriculum, and wait until July to dive into my preparations to direct.

July then arrived. It was almost half over when I realized I hadn't yet buckled down and started the heavy workload of prep needed to effectively lead a class 12- and 13-year-olds in the classical studies of debate, exposition, grammar, logic, reasoning, and research.

What was going on???

The prior year, I had tutored a class of 4th-6th graders in our community and I vividly remember excitedly preparing and planning and laminating all.the.things. the summer beforehand in anticipation of a wonderful year.

But that wasn't the case this time.

What was going on???

I had to look deep inside my heart to figure this out. I had to plead to the Lord for answers since I trusted He knew me better than I knew myself. I had to cry out for explanations for the massive confusion I was feeling!

I thought we had a plan! I thought you and I were on the same page, God! Why does this suddenly not seem right?

Lots of tears ensued. Lots of discussions with hubs. Lots of prayers and Scripture searching.

“I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my loving eye on you.” - Psalm 32:8

It wasn't until last week that we started getting the feeling that perhaps God was telling us that CC may no longer be His plan for our family. And I begrudgingly began to accept that... with the expectation that He was referring to NEXT year. I mean, I had already enrolled my children for the fall, and had already committed to leading one of the programs this year. Obviously whatever God is trying to tell me only applies to NEXT year.

Or did it??

Now we're all caught up and it's (last) Saturday night. I said it without even realizing what I was saying:

What if we don't go back this year?

((gasp))

The thought had NEVER occurred to me until that very moment.

“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.” - Joshua 1:9

The first thoughts I had after making that statement were, "What would happen to the families enrolled in the program I was committed to direct? What would happen if they weren't able to find someone else to take it over? How could God possibly be calling me to make a decision that could potentially have a negative impact on families and friends I loved so dearly?"

“‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord, ‘plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.’” - Jeremiah 29:11

Here's the thing: If I have to make a decision concerning what is best for my children vs. what is best for my (beloved) community, I will choose my children every.single.time.

Spoiler alert, y'all: God is BIGGER than you. He's GREATER than your circumstances. He's WORKING in ways beyond your four walls that you can't even imagine.

“The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.” - Deuteronomy 31:8 

At the end of the day--quite literally as I believe it was around 1:15 AM--hubs and I had resolved to leave Classical Conversations this year.

“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." - Philippians 4:6-7 

Sunday morning we had an incredible day of worship (as usual!) at church, followed by lunch at Culver's (SHOCKER!). Once we were home after lunch, we sat the kids down to share the news with them. They really surprised us! I was concerned with how they'd react, but all of them were totally fine with the decision! Of course, they each mentioned how much they'd miss their friends, but ultimately they were excited to chart a new course together as a family.

After speaking with the kids, I made the phone calls I needed to make to officially resign my position as director, and leave our beloved CC community.

God has been faithful--as if there were ever any doubt--and has brought an incredibly awesome individual forward to take my place in directing the program I stepped away from. Isn't He the BEST, Jerry?? THE BEST!!

So where does that leave my family?

Umm... I'm not quite sure! I honestly have absolutely no idea which doors God will open for us this year. I am seeking His direction and have a few thoughts in mind. But at the end of the day, I am pressing through the fear, surrendering it all to the One who holds us in His loving hands.

Even now, I can look back and see how God was paving this path for us (without my knowledge or consent--the nerve!). haha! And I can't even describe the peace He has provided in this midst of this decision! It's difficult for people like me to not have all.the.things. planned out, but I know God is capable of bringing about so much good through this surrendered decision, and I am choosing to rest comfortably in His grace.

If you'd like more information on what we selected for our 2019-2020 curriculum, check out this post.

If you'd like to hear me vent about CC's Essentials grammar program and how it failed my oldest, check out this post.

The One with the Big Move

Okay, y'all. I've been debating for literally months about whether or not to write this post. But this blog has been my place to express my thoughts, document moments of significance, and share openly since I began writing in June 2008. It wouldn't be fair to my future self (or my kids!) reading through this blog in 30 years not to share what I'm about to.

Let me add one caveat: it's not personal. There's nothing in here that you will read below that is intended to be hurtful to any one person nor group of people. I have nothing but love in my heart for the people whom God has placed into my life -- whether for a day or a season or more -- so please know I do not intend to hurt or offend anyone by the honesty I'm about to share below.

In October 2017, God led my family to make a big move. As in, like, a gargantuan move. After what I look back on now and see as months--even years--of leading, He called my family to find a new church home. If you know me IRL, this may be surprising to you, considering my family has called the same church our home for TWENTY-SIX YEARS! That's basically 2/3 of my life that I've attended and served in just one church. So as you can imagine, leaving was not an easy decision. But as I have learned over the past few months, it was definitely the right one.

Here's a little backstory:

I was raised as a Nazarene my entire life. My family moved to South Carolina the summer before my first year of high school. So, like, 1990-something. ;) Without question, they began attending the local Nazarene church, which at that time was a large, active, thriving fellowship of believers. I enjoyed the youth program there during my high school years, but found it difficult to connect after high school because there wasn't much of a "college/singles" group to speak of at that time. The senior pastor who was there when we first started attending had left to take on a new congregation, and we had a new senior pastor take his place.

Over the next several years, I saw such a decline in the overall attendance of our church. Even worse, though, was a decline in the health of our church. People left in droves. Some of those who stayed behind were often frustrated with the overall (lack of) direction of our church.

It was during that time that I made my first attempt--as a single, working gal in my 20s--to find a new church home. A bigger church. One with an active college/single ministry. One where I could plug in and "do life" with others. And most importantly, one where I could both give of my time and God-given talents through worship, and grow in community.

I was reminded around that time by a great friend and spiritual mentor that nothing will change or improve in a broken church if everyone just jumped ship and walked away in search of something better. The reality was that some people just needed to stay behind to do their part in helping revive the church. Heal what was broken. Serve where servants were needed.

Ultimately I heeded that advice and stuck around. And I served. And I prayed. And I lived out 1 Samuel 12:24. I did all.the.things. I felt the Lord calling me to do. I was only one person, but I believed God would use my efforts--along with others--to accomplish His work. And I feel He did! I felt peace about serving. I felt God was pleased with my sacrifices. But I never truly felt like our church had become all that it was capable of becoming. All that it had once been. I'm sure that's not fair thinking on my part, but this is my blog and I'm allowed to be honest with how I felt, rose-colored glasses and all!

So fast-forward to more recent time (i.e. the past 2 years). I began feeling as though all of the things I had been doing just weren't enough. I was pouring more and more of myself into serving in various ministry areas at the church, and spending less and less time focusing on my family. My husband. My children. They were always so gracious when I'd have to leave home or miss special activities for any number of reasons (practices, meetings, etc.) and I told myself it was fine because all of the things I was doing were for God. For His church. But it started to become too much. I started to see where my marriage and family were suffering due to my commitments to the church. I don't think that's what God had in mind for me or for my family. I became convicted by Paul's words in 1 Timothy: "Anyone who does not provide for...their own household, has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever."

Whoa. That's heavy. And eerily specific to how I was feeling. So I started to pull back a bit. I let go of a few obligations here and there. I stepped down from this ministry or that council. With each step, I felt like the scales were tipping closer to where they should be for the proper balance my family deserved. But they weren't quite there yet. In all of this, I was praying for God's guidance to ensure I wasn't taking a misstep. To be sure my motives were right. To be sure the choices I was making, and the consequences of those choices, were in alignment with His will for my family and I. Through it all, He gave me His blessing. Even when it wasn't easy--for me, or sometimes for others--He gave me His peace. So I continued down that path.

A side effect I didn't expect was that, in my experience, it seemed as though if I wasn't actively involved in serving in one (or more) ministry area(s), the community aspect of the church quickly began to melt away. Now, I'm the FIRST PERSON who will tell you that actively serving in your church is not only a necessity, but is a Biblical command. Ephesians, 1 Peter, Psalms... it's in there, folks! Serve one another so that in everything God may be glorified. So of course it's important to serve in your church. But what happens if you're new? Or what if you hadn't yet found a place to serve? Or if you feel God is calling you to step back from serving for a while? Are you suddenly less than? Are you no longer eligible for community?

I can't say there was a single moment or event that ultimately led to the decision to officially leave our home church. Looking back, it seems it was a gradual thing. It's as if (spoiler alert!) God had a plan in mind all along, and that slowly removing myself from the roles I had served in just so happened to pave the way for my family and I to move on quietly. There were no major holes left behind. No catastrophes. No official goodbyes. Everything went on as scheduled, only we were no longer a part of it. And that's truly a wonderful blessing!

Eventually, however, it did surprise me that seemingly no one noticed. I had been a member of this church for 26 years, blessed to serve in various ministry areas, and suddenly, without warning, my family and I were no longer there. I only need one hand to count how many people reached out to me during the following months as we began searching for a new church home (and I'm so grateful for those faithful friends!).

In reality, what was most heartbreaking for me was that my children, who have never known any other church, never received so much as a one single note, or card, or text, or phone call--anything!--to let them know they were missed. Nothing. I suppose I shouldn't be too surprised, as even as of the time of this post, hubs and I never received a single message from any member of the staff to inquire about our extended absence, or to let us know we were missed, or to wish us the best, or tell us they were praying for us. And that's okay. Because that which could have easily been upsetting and hurtful, God used as a confirmation in my heart that we were doing the right thing by seeking a new community of believers. That we were following Him wherever He led us. That He had another plan for us. And boy does He ever!

I am SO grateful for His leading and for where we find ourselves now. And I'm beyond excited for the many things He is doing now and for the ways He is going to help us grow in our faith and use us in the days ahead! I give Him the glory and praise and could not be more thankful for everything He is doing in the lives and hearts of my family! It was a scary decision to make this move, but in the end, all it required of us was to listen and obey. And God is taking care of the rest. We praise Him!

An Open Letter to the Moms of the Girls on the Softball Team My Husband Coaches

Dear Moms of the Girls on the Softball Team My Husband Coaches,

Even though our season just began last week, and we’ve only played two games, and still have ten more games to go, I feel it necessary to help you help yourself be a gracious human being by sharing the gems of advice below:

1. Please do not permit your daughter to arrive at a game with bronchitis. We appreciate you telling us that she loves the game that much — to show up with back pain and her chest on fire — but we aren’t interested in forfeiting the rest of our season because all of our players mysteriously contracted bronchitis. Boundaries can be a helpful parenting tool.
2. If your daughter has been upset and in tears late into the night because she didn’t get to play her preferred position(s) in a game, that is not my husband’s fault. You need to help her learn to adjust her expectations. With 12 players on a team, you should have expected this. It’s called rotation, and it will happen a LOT this season. Please adjust your daughter’s expectations accordingly.
3. Yes, you are correct: My husband does sacrifice a lot of time coaching our team. However, he cannot be expected to teach your daughter everything she needs to know to be an outstanding softball player in only 3 short practices. Parents should anticipate the need to practice with their daughters at home if they are interested in improving their softball skills. Even if they have been playing since they were 4, there’s always room for improvement.
4. I’m sorry if your daughter’s confidence was so shaken by her position toward the bottom of the batting order in a particular game that she could not connect with the ball when she was at bat. Please see #3 above. Please also recall the previous game where she was one of the first 3 at bat, which resulted in the same outcome. Numbers don't seem to be the issue here.
5. Regarding your daughter being heartbroken at the thought of not playing for an inning: We are talking about ONE inning. Because we have 12 players. And can only have 10 (sometimes 11) on the field at a time. And again, this will also rotate throughout the season. It will impact all of the players. Everyone’s daughter (including our own) will rotate throughout the season, and chill on the bench for a single inning. This is called life.
6. Let me remind you: We’ve played only TWO games this season. Apparently you have not provided my husband with an adequate opportunity to demonstrate to you that players will rotate field positions as well as batting order during our remaining TEN games. I’m confident that even though it’s been hard on you to watch your daughter suffer so terribly, she will have plenty of opportunities to play her desired position(s) and bat right smack dab at the top of the order. Trust me. My husband knows numbers, and he knows how to be fair.
7. We’ve had 3 practices and 2 games. While we appreciate your daughter’s desire to show that she is a good player, if it were in fact true, it would have already been demonstrated by now.
8. Do let us know what you expect my husband to do when the other 10 players’ moms send him an email asking him to consider giving their child more opportunities on our team. I’m curious to know exactly how he is supposed to appease All. The. Moms.
9. Thank you for asking but no, there is nothing you can do. My husband won’t be persuaded into giving your daughter preference over his other 11 players. All of these girls deserve the same opportunities, and will receive the same opportunities. See #8 above.

Sincerely,

The Wife of Your Daughter’s Softball Coach

The One Where I Talk About Myself

Can I be real?

You know, just for a second or two. I'll make it quick. Promise.

Those of you who've been reading here for a while know I rarely write about myself. I mean, with a husband, three kids--one of whom sent our world spiraling out of orbit with his prenatal CHD diagnosis--and the guise of overseeing homeschool perfection on a daily basis, it's not often that "mommy" makes an appearance in my stream of consciousness. Nothing personal, self; you're just not that interesting.

But I struggle.

There. I said it.

I struggle. With life, with parenting, with marriage, with health, with friendships, with serving God, with serving others, with balancing life, with defining priorities... the list goes on and on.

And, as they say, the struggle is real.

Now I won't pretend for one second that I'm alone in any of these struggles. We are all fighting for our families and livelihoods while simultaneously fighting against the enemy and his efforts to steal, kill, and destroy. And while I know my God is bigger than any obstacle I find in the road ahead of me, I still call out this whole "being human" thing every now and then, and how unfortunate it can be at times.

Here's the good news: I'm not going to rant on and on about all of the struggles because, let's face it, your interest level and attention span (not to mention my will to vent) isn't conducive to such extemporaneous dialogue. So I'll be moving right along now and focusing in on one key area: my health.

I'm going to share a tiny gem here that very few people are aware of: I was diagnosed with a fairly common disorder called Hypothyroidism waaaaaaaaaay back in high school (waaaaaaaaaay back = the 90s. Like, the 1990s. To confirm, Me = Dirt). The diagnosis didn't mean much to me at the time. I didn't have any symptoms, but was told my thyroid levels were whack and that I'd need to take a daily pill for the rest of my life. Yay?

Fast-forward about a decade (geez I'm old!), and you'd find the newly-married hubs and I looking to populate the world with our sure-to-be genius offspring. A positive pregnancy test and a vat of joy and excitement unfortunately ended in an early miscarriage. Two months later, another positive pregnancy test and optimistic excitement also ended with the same unfortunate result.

We were stunned. Disappointed. Confused. Just to name a few.

With a little bit of research, we discovered the importance of hormone levels in successful pregnancies. Any guesses on which gland is responsible for secreting hormones?

Spoiler alert: it's the thyroid.

With a quick online search, you'd find research concluding that "hypothyroidism has a statistically significant relationship with recurrent pregnancy loss in the first trimester."

Darn you, thyroid!

Of course you all must know by now that I successfully birthed three of those supposed genius offspring. This was only possible with monitoring thyroid levels during each trimester of pregnancy, adjusting my daily maintenance medication as needed. It wasn't a terrible inconvenience, but it certainly added a new level of stress during pregnancy since we were very aware of what would happen should those levels get too out of whack.

So we've established that (A) the thyroid is important and (B) it sort of plays an important role in pregnancy. Got it.

Wanna know another side effect of hypothyroidism? I knew you would. I could wait here while you google it, but I'll save us both the time: Weight gain.

{And all the women everywhere sing the Hallelujah Chorus a la Handel's Messiah. Only not.}

Can we all just agree to have a thyroid issue to explain away the weight gain? Seems legit to me!

Ugh. But really, this is where my latest health struggle lies. In December of last year, my endocrinologist tested me for Hashimoto's Thyroiditis disease, and the results were positive. This wasn't terribly unexpected, and in the end doesn't really impact how I will be treated; however, it did explain the underlying issue of my hypothyroidism.

Apparently, our dear friend Hashimoto's disease is a condition in which your immune system attacks your thyroid... you remember, that lovely little gland responsible for producing hormones that coordinate many of your body's activities? All the activities. Like the weight. And the gaining. Oh the gaining.

Y'all know how frustrating managing one's weight can be, especially as one's age grows closer to yet another round number... and how difficult it can be when you make everything else a priority rather than properly caring for yourself. There are just so many things/people vying for your attention, amiright? All. The. Things.

But I digress. Well maybe not just yet. Let's take a look at a little graph here for a bit of a visual aid, shall we? In the effort of full disclosure (thus empty embarrassment?), my actual weight in numbers shall not be publicized here on the interwebs because, really, right? But I will disclose that the horizontal gray lines on this here graph each represent ten pound increments.

I'll await your gasping and/or calculating of the gray lines. I wish I had the ability to share further back than just a year, because you'd see that graph all. over. the. place. It's insane. And frustrating.

It doesn't seem to matter what I do--diet, exercise, exorcism of my sweet tooth, et cetera. My attempts are futile as it seems my body has its own interests in mind, which, apparently, is holding on to every ounce of weight to the utmost conceivable degree whilst searching out it's next dozen pounds.

Bless it.

I was hoping to get things figured out but oh, the tweaking. The tweaking of my medication is driving me certifiably insane. The consolation I find is that I'm no longer depending on a primary care physician to make their best educated guesses on where my levels should be; I've started seeing an endocrinologist whose job it is to know how to bring these numbers into submission. But even still, we continue to tweak my medication levels in an attempt to find the right balance that accounts for my immune system's evil desire to attack my perfectly innocent thyroid.

Will we ever get there???

I can hope so. I believe so.

But we aren't there yet. And that means I continue to do my best at managing the symptoms of this disease, which hands-down, my favs have to include the weight gain, fatigue, and stiffness/swelling in my wrists < - - - - note: not the best situ for a computer-wielding, piano-playing, cake-decorating, overall significant wrist-using individual.

I'm guessing it's quite likely that one or more of my faithful blog readers can identify with the life of hypothyroidism, and if so, I'm hopeful you're getting the treatment you need to be a productive (albeit tired) member of society. And I really hope y'all don't mind me being real here about this. I'm so grateful this "battle" of mine is as insignificant and unimportant as it is... I'm fully aware that many are suffering with much more serious and life-threatening diseases. But since this is my blog after all, I decided to take a cathartic moment to unload a bit of stress and be honest about life. Because I'm learning that it's okay to share a struggle -- whether big or small -- as we all go about doing life together, supporting one another, and encouraging whenever possible. And I pray in exchange that you will give me the same opportunity to love and support and encourage you with whatever life has thrown at you. I'm here and I know how to listen and pray!

Just as long as I can fit it in between donuts and nap time. ;)

Just Some Stuff

Just a little heads-up, folks. For those of you who follow me on Facebook, which, I guess is really just the tiny percentage of those of you who actually know me in "real life," I deactivated my Facebook account last week for an undetermined length of time. It just seemed like the right thing to do. I've always hated the way that Facebook takes the place of face-to-face relationships, and I guess I'm just to the point where I don't care about it anymore. I'm never really on there anyway, and honestly it really just duplicates utilizing a Twitter feed in my opinion. I love to check Twitter, but I rarely check Facebook. I like the daunting task of putting all of your thoughts or activities into 140 characters or less. It keeps things interesting. ;)

So anywho, if you want to know what I'm up to, please feel free to jump on Twitter and follow me!

((check out the link over there on the right ----------->))

I'm also wasting spending time on Pinterest, too, so you can follow me there if you'd like, too.

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The correct microwave was installed at the house today. See?

Yay! Unfortunately, the beautiful range I can't wait to finally see in my new kitchen has not yet arrived. :( I believe it should be in this week, and I'm dying to see how it looks!

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One other random thing to share... Last week, hubs and I went to a cooking demonstration at a local kitchen store. It was our first time doing such a thing, and it was on a wonderful subject: homemade pasta and sauces. Perfect! I was looking forward to learning a lot and enjoying some tasty dishes!

Unfortunately, the chef spent more time talking about his recently published romance novel than he did about the correct technique for rolling out pasta dough. But that wasn't the worst of it. He made NO/ZERO/ZILCH/NADA references whatsoever to any form of cleanliness/sanitation/hand-washing. He had bunches of basil leaves in bowls on each table, and asked the class to pull the leaves off for the pesto. There were at least a dozen people doing this and NONE of them washed their hands first. Then, the basil was tossed into the pesto without so much as a quick rinse!

As if that weren't enough, the chef also invited folks in the class to come up one at a time to assist him with rolling out the dough and preparing the filled pastas, with ZERO hand washing. My stomach kept turning with every person who approached the counter and started (quite literally) pulling pasta over their heads with their unwashed hands.

What topped it off for me was seeing this "professional" chef take his glass of red wine, which he had been drinking from, and toss the half-empty glass into the tomato sauce.

Seriously. Gross.

Please tell me at least some of you have some level of disgust at this so I know I'm not alone in Crazyville. OMG. It was awful. Of course I tried to overlook it and not think about it, and tried each of the pasta dishes and sauces. But they weren't even that good! Ugh. It wasn't the most helpful class, and honestly I'd have better luck pulling a recipe from Pinterest than using any of his recipes.

In true ((mom2lo)) fashion, I sent an email to the kitchen store's owner with some feedback from our experience at the cooking demonstration. She was VERY grateful for my feedback and said she had already heard similar complaints from her staff that worked with the guest chef that evening. She was so incredibly generous to refund our class tuition (almost $100 bucks!) AND offer a gift card to use towards a future class or to shop in her store. How unexpected and very thoughtful! It made me feel better to know that I wasn't the only one with the "issues" and that it sounded like she wouldn't be bringing that particular chef back to lead cooking demonstrations in her store any longer.

Tell me... would you have been thinking the same things throughout a cooking class if you witnessed the same disregard for food handling and sanitation by a "professional" chef?? Eeew.

Blogging Break

Taking a break from blogging, duration unknown...