A Confession & the Deets on Chase's New Room

Confession: I'm nothing if not ambitious.

Well, assuming ambitious is a synonym for impatient, because I'm most definitely that, too.

This weekend--actually just this Saturday to be exact--I have decided my beloved hubs and I will be doing Chase's room. I can't use the term "redo" because technically all we did was move his bed & dresser into his room when we first moved into the new house. We didn't "do" anything that would now require us to be "redoing" it. I'm crazy excited about this but it's a lot to take on in a single day. Well, really it'll just be a few hours while the kids are being entertained by their grandparents. I want it to be a big "reveal" for him... he leaves in the morning with his current sad, boring room, and comes back that evening to his amazingly awesome big boy train room!! WOO-HOO!!!

Chase is currently still in a toddler bed, so we're going to convert it to the full size bed. We're also painting the walls, installing some new lighting, putting up a curtain rod and curtains, and adding a variety of homemade wall art to complete the theme.

We decided to go with trains because, let's face it, the boy loves him some trains! But I didn't want it to look like Thomas the Train barfed all over his room. I want it to be a great starter room for a toddler boy that can easily grow with him. Removing an 8 foot by 12 foot Thomas of Sodor wall mural from one of his walls wouldn't be the most effective "grow with me" option. So I want to do a train theme that doesn't involve a lot of cartoony train stuff.

Enter my amazing Pottery Barn sheet set that was the basis of my inspiration for the room:

Classic. Train-y. In primary colors that can grow with him. I am so in love with these sheets!

I've paired them with this amazing Pottery Barn quilt that I swear the boy will be taking to college and eventually using with his own kids considering the price tag on this bad mamma jamma:

For the walls, we have chosen a lovely gray (Secret Passage by Olympic) that is really going to 'pop' against the white trim everywhere. Hubs insisted I buy a paint sample to paint a swatch on his wall before buying the gallon we'll need for his room. How dare he doubt me?? (LOL... past experience with picking out a paint color for our former kitchen, I'm sure). But kudos to me for picking out the RIGHT color the FIRST time! Now to just get that gallon...

For the wall decor, I've crafted a do-it-yourself framed train collage that I'm super excited about! It's very simple and juvenile, so it's perfect for a 3-year-old boy's room, but the images can easily be switched out as he grows.

I also found a fun Pinterest idea to purchase cardboard letters for less than $2 each, then spray painted them with a lovely brushed nickel metallic paint. I LOVE the way these turned out and can't wait to see them up on the wall!

I also purchased two wall decor signs from Amazon to add to the train theme:

Next to his new full size bed, you will find a new night stand from Target along with a cute lamp, also from Target.

There is only one window in Chase's room, and it is currently (and embarrassingly) covered by a dark brown blanket that is tucked into the valence attached to the blinds. This was our quick and cheap fix to make the room darker for nap time and bed time when we first moved in. Totally redneck, yes, but it's served it's purpose (for the past 9 months)...

His new room will have a lovely curtain rod in brushed nickel from Target and two navy blue blackout curtain panels (Surprise! They're from Target, too!).

The new lighting has to be my favorite part of his new room decor! I really wanted to add train-y depot sconces on either side of his new full-size big boy bed. Wouldn't you know I fell in love with these ones from Pottery Barn, complete with their $69 price tag (each). UGH.

Super cute though, right?? Hubs' wouldn't let me I couldn't bring myself to spend so much on lighting, so I searched elsewhere. I found these ones at Home Depot for a more reasonable $42 each, but again, way more than I wanted to spend. They have a much different look than the Pottery Barn ones, but still keep with the "train/depot" theme of his room (although the finish is a bit darker than I'd like).

So last Friday, we stopped at Lowe's to pick up the paint sample and a few other items to prepare for the big room overhaul, and imagine my surprise when I saw THIS light up on the demo wall... for $12.49!!! Score!

I loved loved loved it the second I saw it! It was perfect!! But, just my luck, they didn't have any more of them in stock. I believe it was discontinued or something and was on clearance, so it was all kinds of gonezo. We talked to the friendly Lowe's guy and -- get this! -- I was able to get the demo unit from the wall for a whopping FIVE BUCKS!! That's $5, people! Shut the front door, right?? The guy was super nice to call the other local Lowe's not too far from us to see if they had any in stock. It was the same sitch where they only had the demo light, but we were able to get that one for FIVE BUCKS, too!!!!

Seriously. $10 for new lighting for my boy's new room?? YES, PLEASE! Now the fun begins for hubs as he tries to determine how we can install these onto drywall (there are no existing wall sconces for him to simply replace), but without cutting into the drywall so we'll have the flexibility to move them or the bed without leaving two big holes in the wall. Plus I also want them to operate using the light switch in Chase's room, so good luck with that, hubs! I will mention here, though, my husband is the very best at entertaining all of my crazy ideas. I get my heart set on something and he makes it his mission Every. Single. Time. to be sure I get what I want. It's pretty much a win-win for me, but I know I make things so very difficult for him sometimes. He's such a trooper though and I'm SO THANKFUL to have that guy in my life. LOVE HIM!

So anywho, if any of you are wondering what we'll be doing this Saturday, you now have your answer! We've got our hands full with a loooooong list of "to do's" and a short timeframe in which to get it all done, but I'm rather confident in mine and hubs' skills. I mean, when you try to accomplish something with two kiddos around, I think we can all agree it takes at least 4x as long. But when you subtract those two precious little distractions, you're able to accomplish 10x as much!! At least that's how I do my math! ;)

And no worries ('cause I know several of you were worried completely sick about this - lol!), I will most definitely be sharing some "Before & After" pics of Chase's room after this weekend. I'm so excited and cannot wait to see how it all looks put together and most of all -- what Chase's reaction will be to his new big boy room!!!!!

Not to think LO has been left out of things... I have big plans for her room, which I hope will be implemented next spring (before the baby arrives). Here's a sneak peak at the inspiration for her new girly horse-themed room:

LOVE!!!

Oh, Poo!

So I know I owe you guys the great big Disney World post of 2012, but sometimes life gets in the way and we get distracted. This morning was a perfect case in point!

Not only am I trying to keep my daughter's elementary school updated with the various happenings as our Facebook page admin, plus working with her teacher to plan and organize the class holiday (CHRISTMAS) party, plus planning and preparing for my sister's baby shower (YAY!) as well as getting ready to completely overhaul Chase's room next weekend (whew!), plus working extra holiday hours at The Store and decorating the house for Christmas plus shopping for gifts and working on my annual iPhoto Christmas project and cooking/cleaning... whoa. I think you get the point. So with all of that going on, I'm trying to find time to post about our Disney World trip, which unfortunately is not the priority on my growing list of things to do...

Anywho, the point of today's post? Poo. Oh, yes, friends. Poo.

With my first day (in what seems like FOREVER) without any plans to be anywhere or do anything but lounge at home, I was taking advantage of my Friday morning by napping intermittently on the couch while Chase played with some toys and watched PBS. This is my FAVORITE morning activity by far -- especially since it's what I did almost daily during my first trimester.

So I'm half asleep on the couch and I hear Chase in the downstairs play area saying he needed my help. Of course I tried to get out of it but after asking a few questions about what he needs, I hear him mention the word: Poo.

Crap (literally! haha!). I got up off the couch as quickly as my overweight, out-of-shape, almost 18-week pregnant body would allow and found this. Obviously we can all agree I have a hard core commitment to documenting our lives via electronic media since my first instinct was, of course, to take pictures rather than address the issue at hand.

WARNING: YOU ARE ABOUT TO SEE GRAPHIC PHOTOS CONTAINING POO.

Can someone please explain to me how poo went from the back, top area of his diaper all the way to his feet??! I expected that perhaps it had "dripped" down his leg, but no. His legs were clean. Just his little foot was covered in poo. I have no idea how little Houdini made this happen. But I was certainly grossed out. Not what I had planned for my quiet, relaxing Friday morning of napping.

So after stripping him down and cleaning up the poo, I sat him next to the sink to wash his feet off. Within a matter of moments, the entire kid was submerged in a sink bath!

He was having a wonderful time! It was so funny because I'm pretty sure our kids have NEVER been sink bathers, even as little ones that would actually fit in our sink. So it was pretty hilarious to see this big 3-year-old of mine stuffed into a sink bath. But he had a blast!

This next one is pretty blurry, but I think it does a good job of capturing his joy of sink bathing. I just love this kid to pieces!!!

And not to leave you guys hanging, I thought I'd share a little teaser photo of Disney if for no other reason than to prove that the trip DID happen and that you WILL be seeing photos and a recap here... eventually. ;)

:)

Update Time!

Well, okay... it's been a bit too long since my last post, but as most of you can agree, this is a busy season of the year! In addition to life and work and everything else, we just spent about a week in Florida for a family vacation! There's so much to talk about and so many pictures to share, but for now, I owe you a little update on a little something else.

Next Tuesdays marks week 18 of my pregnancy with baby #3. It's been about 5 weeks since LO and Chase shared a little message with you guys about our big news. I'm so sorry it's taken me so long to talk about it here!

So let's see... hubs and I always wanted to have one of each -- boy and girl -- and boy were we ever blessed with LO and Chase!!! Those kids are the light of my life and I am so grateful to be their mommy! Once things settled into a new normal with Chase (meaning after his first two heart surgeries and once we were out of the mandatory "protective bubble" stage), we realized our family just didn't quite feel complete yet. The idea of a third child crossed our minds, but neither of us were 100% set on the idea. We definitely weren't against it, but were not ready to move forward. Then in November 2011 we purchased our new home, and had the joy of four months of dealing with building it and eventually moving in. Then settling in. And that last part took a LOT longer than I had ever expected! Sure, all of our belongings were "moved in" but it didn't feel like our home until I was able to make the time to make it ours -- hanging photos on the walls, purchasing the necessary furniture to fill it up (we went from about 1,500 sq. ft. to over 3,200 sq. ft.), window treatments, etc. Again, this took way longer than I had expected!

So fast-forward a few months, and we started to discuss the family dynamic again. Things still just didn't feel complete. So we talked about #3 again. And this time, we both felt we were ready. It was time.

Within a few short months, we found ourselves expecting baby #3! Of course we were overjoyed, but I'll admit I was a bit apprehensive as well. I clearly recall enjoying every moment of the first 20 weeks of my pregnancy with Chase, until we got his CHD diagnosis, and things were so scary and unbelievably difficult for the second half of my pregnancy. I mean, how can you not dwell on the "what if's" when your baby would be born with only half a functioning heart? How could you think about onesies, diapers and pacis when you have to focus on relocating your family 4 hours from home, worrying about your child's birth and first open-heart surgery while maintaining some sort of normalcy for your 2-year-old daughter?? Ugh. I always knew if we had another baby, I'd experience the exact opposite of my pregnancy with Chase: I'd spend the first 20 weeks worried out of my mind about my baby's health, then (HOPEFULLY) spend the last half of the pregnancy looking forward to the birth of a healthy baby boy or girl. And I guess that sort of sums up where I'm at now.

As I mentioned, we're almost 18 weeks pregnant. In 2 weeks, I have an appointment at the same Maternal-Fetal Specialist we saw when we received Chase's diagnosis. This appointment will include a full anatomy scan (boy or girl!?) as well as an in-depth look at the baby's entire body/organs/etc. We are hoping and praying we will receive a wonderful report at this appointment! A few weeks later, we'll return to this office again to meet with Chase's pediatric cardiologist for a fetal echo on the baby's heart. Again, we're praying for a healthy report at this appointment as well!

I'll admit that while I am a bit apprehensive about the baby's health, I'm not totally consumed by it. And this actually surprises me! I can't tell if it's just because life keeps me so busy with my current little ones or what? The negative side of me thinks that I'm not allowing myself to get too attached to the baby because of the fear of the unknown... but the rest of me just thinks this is what it's like when you're resting in faith that God is in control. He knows my heart; He hears my prayers. We are fully trusting in Him and are praying for GREAT news at our upcoming appointment on 12/11.

As far as how I've been feeling this time around? Ohmahgah the exhaustion and fatigue during the first trimester pretty much kept me camped out on the couch during all waking hours of the day. It was straight up unbelievable! I had no idea it could be so bad! Obviously caring for 2 kids, managing the  house, working a job and everything else on my plate was taking its toll! Seriously. I cannot put into words how awful it was! I would send LO off to school with hubs and crash on the couch until I had to get up to make Chase some lunch. I'd pile dirty dishes into the sink -- without so much as a quick rinse. I all but refused to empty the dishwasher and certainly never took the time to load it. Poor hubs! I wasn't cooking at ALL, the house was a horrible mess, and it was all I could do to function on a daily basis. Oh, the fatigue!!! Luckily, as with both LO and Chase, I didn't have any real nausea to speak of. No real morning sickness -- just an occasional feeling of wanting to puke but thankfully not doing so. ;)

Now that I'm into my second trimester, I'm feeling much better, have much more energy, and actually feel like a contributing member of society again! I'm looking forward to our appointment next month so we will know if we're having another boy or girl so I can start getting the nursery ready. There's so much to do and so much to be thankful for!

Thank you to those of you who have asked about how things are going and have gently nudged me on Facebook or via text to share more about this pregnancy. Talking and writing about it makes it more real and it's definitely something I need to get used to! Thank you in advance for your prayers concerning our upcoming appointments... we covet them and are so grateful for those of you who have been with us over the long haul! Your support means so very much to me!!!

Coming soon: lots of pics from our Walt Disney World vacation!!!!! :)

New Big Boy Room Inspiration... Help Needed!

Working on some inspiration for Chase's new "big boy" bedroom. I want something train-y, but not like Thomas the Tank Engine threw up all over his walls. Right? The bed and dresser below are the furniture he already has (although the dresser is more brown and less black -- just a bad pic... and he's still in the toddler bed -- this is all about the transition to full size bed, which will take place in December).

Much to my husband's dismay, today I purchased the train sheets and quilt from Pottery Barn Kids. These were NOT cheap, my friends. Major setback. But I'm pretty adamant he will be taking that quilt to college and use it for his own kids some day.

I found a cute night stand and table lamp from Target, will put up some navy blackout curtains (2 floor-length panels), and paint the walls a very subtle gray. Then it's just a matter of adding in a few accent pieces of wall decor. I'm somewhat partial to the block letters I found on Pinterest that are made from cardboard letters and spray painted. I'll probably do them in blue or red to contrast with the gray walls. Then maybe add in a few train-y pieces like the RR crossing sign and whatever else I can find that I like.

Overall I'm SUPER CRAZY EXCITED about what his room is going to transform into in just a few short weeks. I have plans for some custom homemade pillow shams and possibly a bedskirt if I feel it will be needed (do boys rooms really need one?), but that won't be 'til Phase 2. ;)

Thoughts? Comments? Anyone have any other ideas for awesome train decor we should include in this super cute new room? I'm such a novice at this stuff... I have no home decor skills whatsoever to speak of, so I'm very open and willing to hear any/all suggestions you lovely readers may have!

Cardiology Results

Well, as expected, Dr. H brought up the "F" word at Chase's cardiology check-up this morning... Fontan. That's his 3rd planned heart surgery. Whoa. As much as I thought I was ready to talk about it, turns out I wasn't really ready to talk about it.

Not surprisingly, Chase was NOT in the mood for the simple things like height and weight. I'm sure it's possible he has bad memories of such things at the cardiologist's office as he usually does really well with height and weight at his pediatrician's office. Weird. Once we were in the exam room, and he saw the blood pressure machine roll over, he was NOT having it! He was ordered to have BPs on all four extremities, but the nurse took pity on us after both legs and an arm. He was screaming and fighting through most of it -- he's never been a fan of having his blood pressure taken (can't blame him!) and today proved no different. His pressures were all good and we were very pleased with his o2 saturation in the upper 80s!

After a bit of a wait, we were taken back for the echo. He wasn't happy about having his shirt taken off or laying down for the echo, and he definitely was not interested in the stickers they typically apply to his chest to capture his heartbeat during the echo, so the tech was nice and left them off. Once he was comfortable and noticed Despicable Me was playing on the TV in the exam room, he was his usual echo champ that we've always known and loved! He was perfectly still and cooperated perfectly! The tech was able to get the images she needed and we were taken back to the exam room to wait on Dr. H.

When he stepped into the room, he was amazed at how big our boy is now! It's been 6 months since his last appointment, and I guess he's had a bit of a growth spurt since then. He definitely looks huge to me! But Dr. H was pleased with the information collected this morning and of course, essentially the first thing he said after greeting us, was that it was time to talk Fontan timing.

((gasp))

It's never easy, even in these early planning stages, to even THINK of turning your 3-year-old son over for a third heart surgery. I won't even get into the many thoughts that run through my mind because they're mostly depressing and I don't want to dwell on them. But just imagine our surprise when Dr. H suggested we go ahead and get his Fontan scheduled for March.

MARCH.

As in, like, 4 months from now.

ohmahgah.

We of course mentioned our biggest concern about that timeframe (with the knowledge that we will most certainly be bumped for more urgent surgical cases once or twice... potentially taking us into April or May), was that Chase's little brother or sister is due the first week of May. Dr. H congratulated us and agreed that we definitely needed to consider the timing of his surgery very carefully. Dr. H agreed we didn't want to schedule the Fontan during the winter (cold/flu/RSV) months, which we wholeheartedly agreed with, and that being 7 months pregnant (with the ginormous size and lack of energy that comes along with it) isn't ideal, either. Going for a summer Fontan (June/July) would be tough considering the lack of sleep and other big changes that comes along with having a 3rd child, so then we talked about early Fall 2013. I'd love to have it done before LO starts 1st grade because I'd hate for her to miss too much school (it goes without saying that she would be with us in Charleston for the  entire duration of our stay for Chase's surgery). I'm pretty sure if she misses 10 days she doesn't get credit for the year (or something weird like that?). So maybe early August would be best?

We all agreed that we would bring Chase back in 4 months (March) for another echo. Really the ONLY thing that could potentially force our hand to have to schedule his Fontan is a section of narrowing in his LPA (left pulmonary artery). It was ballooned during his pre-Fontan cath last year, which gave it a bit more wiggle room, but according to today's echo, it appears to have gone back to what it was before that cath. So if we see in March that the size of his LPA narrowing has worsened, we'll have no choice but to get him on the books for his Fontan at MUSC. If all looks good, we can most likely schedule it later in the Fall.

It was encouraging to hear Dr. H say that there is some research that indicates delaying the Fontan as long as possible (within reason) is actually beneficial to HLHSers like Chase because as adults, HLHS patients are appearing to have significant issues with their liver due to the higher pressure that the Fontan brings. So hanging out with Glenn circulation (which is what Chase has now) is potentially ideal anyway. He mentioned there's a surgeon in Atlanta who is waiting as far out as 7 or 8 years old for his single ventricle patients before their Fontan because he used to be an adult cardiologist and saw the significant liver issues his patients were having as adults, and feels that delaying the Fontan as much as possible can help reduce potential liver issues as they grow into adulthood.

So that's that. We'll go back in March and Chase's LPA will tell us whether we need to go ahead and schedule his Fontan or if we can wait it out a bit longer. Whether I'm still pregnant or have a newborn to contend with, I am NOT looking forward to the thought of going in for the Fontan. However, I am looking forward to being post-Fontan and not having any additional planned/scheduled surgeries in our future. As difficult as it is to block out the negative thoughts that come up all to often during this journey, I know my hope is in the Lord and that He has a perfect plan for our boy. I am trusting in Him, even and especially through this heart-wrenching journey.

I didn't take any pics of the kiddo at the appointment, but here he is after we got him loaded up in the car to head home. He's got pretty much all of his favorite things: Mickey, monkey, juice and food. The only things missing are his iPod and a Concrete Mixer from Culver's. ;)

Thanks a bunch to those of you who were praying for us today! God answers the prayers of his people!

Cardiology Check-up

Chase has his 6-month cardiology check-up Tuesday morning. Please say a prayer for our sweet boy! We're expecting it's about time we start discussing his third scheduled surgery, the Fontan, which we're thinking will be some time next summer/fall.

Ugh.

Can't even start to think about that right now.

I'll share an update tomorrow after his appointment. Thank you so much to those of you who have loved us, supported us and prayed for us along this journey with our amazing Chase!!! We wouldn't be where we are without you!

LOVE THIS KID!!! ❤

- Posted via my beloved iPhone 5

Help!

Can someone please tell me how to tackle this madness? These Tupperware cabinets have been the bane of my existence since we moved into the new house... I can't get it under control!

Need ideas STAT!!! Please help!



- Posted using my beloved iPhone 5

Whoa! Whaaa??

This is happening, people.

Soon.

Just don't tell the kids...




Posted from my beloved iPhone

Unhealthy Obsession

I'm not sure when a pregnancy craving turns into an unhealthy obsession, but we need to talk about these:

Breakfast, snack, lunch, snack, dinner, bedtime snack... I can't stop with the crazy Sour Cream & Onion potato chips! Seriously, I eat them to the point of almost making myself sick. That's just not right.

My other go-to obsession these days is this:

Super healthy, right? Ya, so it's like pure sugar diluted in water, but it's oh so yummy! I could seriously exist on this combo of chips & lemonade...

Weird, right?

My Birthday Boy!

I cannot believe this handsome little boy of mine is THREE! We've had a fun birthday weekend and it's been such a joy to celebrate the amazingness of this sweet little miracle of mine!

On his actual birthday (yesterday, 10/26), we started the day with birthday pancakes! He wasn't completely awake yet, but was cooperating considering there was chocolate milk involved...

A yummy blueberry birthday pancake for my 3-year-old!

Sorry for the bad lighting, but here's my big boy, ready to blow out the candles on his pancake!

We enjoyed a fun (albeit busy) Friday and enjoyed a little family pizza party for dinner. Chase was able to open a few gifts from Mommy & Daddy before bedtime.

This morning (Saturday), was PARTY TIME!!! We had a yummy spread of food and some cute decorations, which I forgot to take pictures of (doh!). Chase opened his presents, and unfortunately our camera was on a crappy setting so all of them turned out ridiculously blurry and totally unusable. FAIL!

I was able to get a pic of his birthday banner I made, though. I love that I can swap out the Thomas images to reuse the banner for future birthdays.

After presents, it was time for cake and ice cream! We prepared to sing to the boy and he assumed the following position (LOL!):

Silly boy!!!

Yay! Singing is over... time to make a wish!

And blow out the candle!

Yummy cake!

So here's a little pic of the cupcakes. Chase requested chocolate cupcakes and I paired them with a delicious vanilla bean buttercream. Apparently they were a hit! Unfortunately my lack of sweet tooth these days means I didn't try one myself, but I think they sure were pretty cute!

I also made some fun water bottles but again, forgot to take pictures of them until after the party. But here are some empties!

So fun and so cute!

After the party it was, of course, nap time! Yay! All four of us took a nice nap before heading over to our neighborhood's fall festival in the pool parking lot that is literally across the street from our house. The kids got to dress up in their halloween costumes that mommy made for them!

LO the unicorn and Chase as Mickey Mouse!

I thought it was hilarious to see LO try to bob for apples... although I think that unicorn horn might've held her back a bit.

Not to be outdone by big sis, Chase took his turn at the bobbing, although he was much more interested in using his hands since the biting part turned out to be so tough.

All in all, it's been a wonderful weekend of celebrating this special miracle that God brought into our lives 3 years ago. I can't help but think of all he's been through and how he's had to fight over and over again to be here with us and I can't thank God enough! We are so truly blessed by this child!

I never want to forget all he's been through and I've reminded myself again today by watching the dedication video I put together for him that shows the journey we've been on. He is a fighter, a miracle and my very own hero.

Happy 3rd Birthday, Chase! I love you bunches, sweet boy!

HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY, CHASE!

HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY, CHASE!

We are so very grateful to have our son with us and not a day goes by that we don't thank God for His hand of healing and protection on our sweet boy. I am still beside myself that we have been blessed with this kiddo in our lives and that we're celebrating his 3rd birthday TODAY! I'm so in love with this boy and am blown away by his incredibly amazing awesomeness!

As I make the last few party preparations for his big celebration tomorrow, I can't help but think about his birth and the unbelievable first few weeks of his life. He's been fighting to survive since he entered this world and he is so very strong... he's my hero and a living, breathing miracle walking around in front of my eyes! His birth was obviously so very different than LO's, and I wanted to take a moment this morning to reflect on what my family experienced during his first week of life.

Also, I wanted to say THANK YOU to those of you who have loved us, supported us, cared about us, prayed for us, and been there for us during this tumultuous journey God placed us on. Without your love and support, I just don't know where we'd be, so THANK YOU!!!

---

Thursday, October 29, 2009

Some Updates... Finally!

Whew! What a week it's been! My sweet baby boy arrived on Monday and our lives have definitely changed dramatically! I fell in love with my Chase at first sight! He's perfect! I'll write the labor/delivery post eventually, but right now I'll let you know what's happened since his big arrival.

After Chase was born, he was whisked away to a stabilization room so the NICU staff could get a line put in his umbilical cord and do all of their standard tests.


They finished with me in the operating room and took me back to my labor room to recover. About an hour or so later, the NICU team brought Chase to my room so I could see him for the first time.


I also got to hold him for about 15 minutes!


It was pure bliss!!! I was so happy to finally hold my precious son in my arms after getting to know him over the past 9 months. I wanted to let hubs hold him for a minute or two, but I just couldn't let go! Before I knew it, they had to take him up to the PCICU to get him settled.

Later that night, we got to go up to the PCICU to see him. He looked so beautiful!



On Tuesday, we were told that they wanted to intubate Chase (put in a breathing tube) not because he was having trouble breathing, but because he needed help balancing levels in his blood (Note: I don't have a medical degree so I'm sure I sound like I have no clue what I'm talking about, mostly because I don't).

Basically he had too much lactic acid in his blood and putting in a breathing tube would help him with this. They also put in an ng tube (it goes through his nose into his stomach) so they could give him some nutrition directly into his stomach. It was really hard to see him with the tubes in and not be able to see his cute little cheeks! But knowing it was what Chase needed made it a little bit easier for me to accept.

Wednesday they told us they'd want to take Chase to the cath lab to put in a PICC line in his arm. The reason he needed this was so they could give him better nutrition through the PICC line than what they were already putting in through his umbilical line. It was planned for 2nd case this morning, which we were told would be around 10 or 11 AM. Imagine my surprise when hubs' phone rang at 8:15 AM this morning with a call from the PCICU requesting our authorization to do the procedure. Apparently the 1st case canceled and we were moved up. This meant Chase went into the cath lab around 9 AM and we weren't there to see him before the procedure! I was heartbroken, but I knew he was in good hands. I checked in later to find out how he was doing, and he did a great job! When we got to the hospital to see him after the procedure, he was still completely sedated, but he looked so good!!! It's hard to see him laying there, not able to move, but I loved touching him and whispering to him that I was there with him!

Hubs and I met with one of the surgeons last night, Dr. Hsia. We discussed the surgery schedule and were told that Dr. Bradley, the surgeon we originally wanted to do Chase's Norwood surgery, would be out of town Thursday through Monday, returning on Tuesday of next week. This means the earliest he could do Chase's surgery would be Wednesday, November 4th. The typical "comfort level" for performing a Norwood procedure is within 7 days from birth. The other option we have would be for Dr. Hsia to do the surgery. Ultimately it came down to timing, which we looked to Chase to determine what would be best. Based on his "numbers" (essentially they are playing "mother nature" by trying to keep his numbers at a safe level), it seems as though it'd be better to do his surgery sooner rather than later. There are two main reasons for this: 1) One of the medications he's on (Prostaglandin) that's used to keep his PDA open, is essentially "marinating" his tissue, meaning the longer he's on this medication before surgery, the more difficult it will be to operate because the tissue will be very soft and pliable; and 2) His body is pumping more blood to his lungs than to the rest of his body, meaning his vital organs (brain, heart, etc.) are not getting enough oxygenated blood. Obviously he needs to keep these organs safe and prevent any permanent damage, so the sooner we do the surgery, the better.

Hubs and I decided it would be best for Chase for us to go ahead with the surgery on Monday morning. He'll be taken back around 6AM and should be finished by 3PM. The good news is I'll definitely be able to hold him Sunday night and/or Monday morning. WOOT! The bad news is I'm so very scared! I can't even put in words how hard it is to know I'll be handing my newborn child over to a surgeon to save his life! Please be praying for us as we prepare for this extremely difficult day! I know God is in complete control and is working out His will for Chase's life before our very eyes!

3 Years

First of all, THANK YOU to everyone for the well wishes regarding our little announcement earlier this week. It goes without saying that we are extremely excited! I'll post more details soon -- I promise!

But for now I wanted to share a little glimpse into our lives from 3 years ago. We were preparing for a trip to Charleston as we awaited the arrival of our son, Chase, who was prenatally diagnosed with a complex congenital heart defect (CHD) called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS). He would require surgery within his first week of life, a second surgery around 4 to 6 months and a third surgery around age 3 to 4. It was an incredibly difficult time for us as we looked into an unknown future, not knowing whether our son would survive.

I only wish I knew then what I know now -- our miracle son would be celebrating his 3rd birthday!!! It's so hard to believe after all we've been through that we'd be where we are today! We have been so blessed by this sweet boy of ours and I cannot praise God enough for bringing him into our lives!

---

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Not-So-Inspirational Saturday (Sorry!)

It's amazing how much can change in less than 24 hours. It seems like I was in a good place yesterday. I knew what was ahead of me for the weekend -- packing, preparing, finishing up the "to do" list before heading to Charleston. I was starting to get that anxious/nervous feeling as it seems our journey is just a few steps away!

Then late last night, I found it difficult to motivate myself to start getting things done. As I lounged on the bed watching hubs pack up his clothes, I started to get overwhelmed. A feeling came over me that I truly haven't dealt with up to this point. It was an emotional response that's been buried in the depths of the back of my mind for so very long:

I don't want to do this.

I don't.

When I should be overjoyed at the pending arrival of my baby, I'm instead filled with uncertainty.

When I should be packing a simple hospital bag for a day or two, I'm instead packing my entire closet, LO's clothes -- even her bed! -- and several months' worth of things!

When I should be looking forward to holding my precious newborn baby in my arms, I'm instead resentful of the fact that I won't get to do so for who knows how long!

When I should be thinking of a brief hospital stay before bringing my baby home to our family, I'm instead concentrating on how to handle sending my baby with a medical team to open his heart up and perform an 8 hour surgery.

When I should be installing an infant car seat a week or so before my due date, I'm instead wondering if I'll even have the joy of bringing a baby home in that car seat at all.

When I should be worried about bringing home a newborn, getting him onto a schedule and trying to find the time to sleep AND do laundry, I'm instead worried about the countless weeks/months I'll be leaving my baby in the hospital at night, traveling to and from the hospital and splitting my time with my 2-year-old at a temporary home while my heart is aching for my precious son who will be fighting for his life.

When I should be excited about LO meeting her baby brother for the first time, I'm instead overwhelmed at the thought that he might not survive through all of this, and I have no idea how to make a 2-year-old understand that her baby brother is in Heaven and won't be coming home with us.

I don't want to leave the comfort of my home.

I don't want to pack almost every belonging into a box and drive 4 hours away from my family and friends.

I don't want to be forced to make a new home for my family in another city during an already tumultuous time.

I don't want to fear the outcome.

I don't want to fear the unknown.

I don't want to lose my son.

Yes, I fully realize God is in control of our circumstances and He has a perfect plan for my family's life.

But I'm still human.

I feel emotions.

I have fears.

But I will continue to look to Him to lift me up when I'm down.

To give me the strength I need with each new day.

To provide healing to my precious son.

To see my family through the most difficult time in our lives.

He is good. And He loves us. And I know He will help me do what has to be done over the next several weeks. I'm so grateful for his faithfulness. I'm so blessed to rest in Him, even when I'm feeling not-so-inspired.

A Message from LO & Chase

The kids wanted to share a little something with y'all today:

A 'Lil Check-up

Thursday we had the joy of taking a family road trip to Charleston for Chase to have a follow-up appointment with his ENT doctor concerning his ear tubes we had put in last year. The trip was uneventful and the appointment itself was probably one of the quickest of its kind! While our appointment time wasn't until 1:45 PM, we made excellent time traveling to Charleston and, even after hitting Panera in N. Charleston for lunch, we arrived at MUSC Children's Hospital by 1:00 PM. We decided to head in early in hopes that we'd be seen early and get done early, and it worked out very well, even with his big sister in tow this time around.

We did the initial screening with the nurse and were pleased with the results. Chase is up to 32 lbs. and 39" tall! His o2 sats were around 88, which is really great! Luckily they didn't need his BPs so we were able to get through the screening without much crying.

See?

Dr. H had her resident check him out before she came in to see him, and the resident was not able to get a good look at the right tube, but was able to verify the left tube was still in place. Dr. H came in shortly after with the same findings. She said there was a bit of wax in the right ear that blocked her view of the ear canal, so she used one of her fancy "skewers" (that's my word for them, not hers btw) to remove an embarrassing amount of ear wax from the boy's right ear. Once that was out, she could clearly see that the right tube had already fallen out. So we're half way there! We'll go back in 6 months for our next follow-up to check and see if the left tube is still in place or not. Good times!

Next month, Chase has his 6-month follow-up with his local cardiologist on 11/13. For some reason, both hubs and I have the "parental intuition/feeling" that he'll give us the ol' "see ya in another 6 months" scenario since, other than his weight and age, there are no other factors that indicate Chase is ready for his final scheduled heart surgery, the Fontan. Typically we should start to see a decrease in his oxygen saturation, a significant decrease in his energy level, and an increased blueish tint to his lips and nail beds. Like basically to the point where he just doesn't have the energy to even climb up the stairs at bedtime. We're definitely not there yet. Although it's impossible to plan/control/schedule anything relating to our son's heart and his upcoming surgery, hubs and I are both assuming it will be scheduled for late Summer 2013. NOT something we're looking forward to, obviously, but something we've always known would be in our future and definitely something we're looking forward to being on the other side of with our strong and amazing little fighter of a son.

Remember Me?

I can't believe it's been almost a month since my last post.

((hanging head in shame))

It's not for a lack of content to share with you guys... things have been nothing short of INSANE lately! There's so much to talk about, from school volunteering (can you say new PTA website, Facebook page management/advertising, fall festival planning, computer lab volunteer, reading to the class... the list goes on!) to work to family activities to play dates to church to house improvement tasks... Whew! And of course we can't forget hubs' birthday this weekend and Chase's 3rd birthday (whaaaa?!) in 2 weeks. Lots to do around here!

I promise I'll try to post more frequently from here on out. There are some fun and exciting things happening in our little piece of the world and I look forward to sharing some of it with you all soon (still top secret as the kids don't know yet, but can you think of any fun places with the initials "DW"??). YIPPEE!!!!!

But for today, I want to share some thoughts that have been pretty heavy on my heart lately. It's something we're all guilty of, whether we want to admit it or not. Not sure how much of the Bible you guys have read, but there's a resounding theme regarding judging others, and it can be summed up in a single word: don't. It's that simple. Take a look at a few of the scriptures I've provided below that I've spent time praying and meditating over during the past couple of weeks.

Matthew 7:1-5: “Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment you pronounce you will be judged, and with the measure you use it will be measured to you. Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye." 

Luke 6:37: “Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven;" 

John 7:24: "Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.” 

James 4:11-12: "Do not speak evil against one another, brothers. The one who speaks against a brother or judges his brother, speaks evil against the law and judges the law. But if you judge the law, you are not a doer of the law but a judge. There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?" 

James 4:12: "There is only one lawgiver and judge, he who is able to save and to destroy. But who are you to judge your neighbor?" 

Romans 2:1-3: "Therefore you have no excuse, O man, every one of you who judges. For in passing judgment on another you condemn yourself, because you, the judge, practice the very same things. We know that the judgment of God rightly falls on those who practice such things. Do you suppose, O man—you who judge those who practice such things and yet do them yourself—that you will escape the judgment of God?" 

Ephesians 4:29: "Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear."

Tough Job

When LO attended a local private Christian school for K3 and K4, I served as the "Room Mom" both years and absolutely loved it! I'm passionate about communication and made sure my parents were aware of all of the activities happening in the classroom as well as the various volunteer opportunities available for them to serve. These parents were always on the ball, happy to sign up to help in the classroom, send in items for class parties, etc. My job was Room Mom was fun, relatively easy and a great way to learn which parent goes with each child. ;)

Fast-forward to LO's first year in public school for Kindergarten. I'm serving as the "Room Mom" for her class again this year. We have 21 students, which would mean we have 21 parents/guardians to participate in the classroom.

Yet I'm about to pull my hair out!!!

We have a need for a simple computer lab volunteer. They help turn computers on. And maybe help the kids "point & click" on the right thing during the class. It's a 30-minute obligation.

I've had ZERO parents sign up (besides myself and my co-Room Mom). ZERO.

Seriously? For Kindergarten?? This is the kids' first year of "big school" and I can't get a single parent to sign up to help in the computer lab?? I understand not all parents have the stay-at-home flexibility that I have, but come on. It's like using ONE LUNCH HOUR EVERY OTHER MONTH to volunteer and help out in your own kid's classroom. Is that seriously too much to ask?

Apparently.

This is so frustrating. I have another classroom program (reading to the kids!) that needs volunteers; again, only myself and my co-Room Mom have signed up to help. The sucky thing is you can't bring younger siblings to these volunteer programs in the classroom, so I have to make arrangements for Chase each time I go to help with the computer lab or the reading program. It's a bit of an inconvenience but I don't mind doing it occasionally. Only since there are NO parents interested in helping in their child's classroom, I'm gonna need to do it a LOT more frequently than occasionally.

GRRRRRRR!!!

This is NOT what I signed up for! I just cannot fathom how parents are so disinterested in helping in their child's Kindergarten class. I get that parents work, parents are busy, etc. But the most frustrating part is NONE of them even bother to respond to my emails! Not even just to tell me they work and aren't able to help. That'd be nice to know and so appreciated! But it's frustrating to keep contacting my parents and get ZERO responses from them.

I guess if this is what it's gonna be like, I'll be sure NOT to sign up for this in the future. I just hate that parents' lack of involvement cause parents like me (who love to serve!) to give up and walk away from the opportunity to make a difference in their child's class because they can't get parents to reply to a simple email, to just communicate with me!

Ugh. Thanks for letting me vent. Hopefully this will improve as the school year continues, but I'm not gonna hold my breath.

Seriously, though. What am I missing? What am I not understanding? I'm all for working parents to dodge the bullet of volunteering if they truly can't get away for one lunch hour every other month. And I get that some stay-at-home parents may have younger siblings they can't make alternate arrangements for so they'd be able to serve. But is it really too much to ask for parents to RESPOND to me to let me know this?? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills!!!

Ugh. The End.

Marbles

I am SO. STINKIN'. PROUD. of my sweet LO! She has grown up so much over the past few months, and I can hardly believe she's now a full-time elementary school student who can ride her bike without training wheels and actually listen to mommy & daddy sometimes!

I'm not sure if I had written about it on the blog much lately, but LO has had some significant behavior issues over the summer. She wasn't listening, wouldn't do what she was asked to do, had a very negative attitude (especially when being disciplined) and was just overall not the sweet little girl I once knew.

One date I was lamenting to friend about LO's behavior problems, and that dear sweet friend of mine suggested I try a system she was using with her 5-year-old son. Marbles.

Yes, marbles.

She uses a system of marbles to reward good behavior. Essentially, if the child does something (anything!) good/nice/thoughtful/kind/etc., they earn a marble! If they do anything opposite of those behaviors, they lose a marble. Once they reach their goal of marbles, they get a special reward/prize. My friend uses 25 as her goal... we started with 10. ;)

I wanted to introduce LO to the system and allow her a smaller goal so that she could (hopefully) reap a reward quickly and see the benefit of earning marbles and behaving. Those first 10 marbles were quite a process! It was gain one, lose one, gain another, lose another. Honestly I was being VERY generous and giving her marbles for the simplest thing just so I'd have some to take away later, because I KNEW I would be taking some away based on her behavior pattern. It was crazy and I thought it'd never happen.

But it did!!!

She finally earned 10 marbles and was able to reap the reward she had set for herself: a family trip to Chuck E. Cheese's! We went to dinner at Outback (that was for mommy & daddy) and then went to CEC (for LO), and it was a wonderful night! We talked up how awesome it was that she had behaved well enough to earn 10 marbles, trying to encourage her to keep it up. The kids had a blast and I'm ashamed to admit I only captured a few pictures of the kids together on a roller-coaster simulator ride.

After the success with 10 marbles, I upped the ante and made her next goal 12 marbles. Of course we let her choose that reward again, which was a trip to Brewster's for ice cream (quick and cheap -- mommy like!). I noticed almost immediately that she was able to earn at least one marble per day rather consistently, which was a HUGE improvement from slowly gaining/losing/gaining her first 10 marbles. She started being super easy to wake up in the morning (at 6:40 AM - gasp!) for school, did her morning routine without complaining, had "green" (i.e. good) days at school, started being nicer to her brother (this one was HUGE!!!!!) and would do her evening routine without too much grumbling. Let's just say she earned her 12 marbles in about a week! Shocker!! I was so impressed and proud of her!

So tonight we loaded up in the car after dinner to hit Brewster's for a big fat ice cream reward! Again, we made sure to talk about how great she's been doing, what a big helper she has been, how proud we are of her, etc. She really enjoyed her special dinosaur sundae, complete with sprinkles and eyeballs... ;)

I love the pic of her and Chase on the bench talking. Chase had already downed his ice cream cone by then but they had a pretty good conversation about who-knows-what. I love these kids!!

After our ice cream trip, I let LO know that her next goal was 15 marbles (I'm trying to ease her up to 25 so this doesn't end up being so expensive with all of these rewards!) and asked her what she wanted as her next special prize. After some discussion, she landed on a trip to a local amusement park complete with go carts and arcade games.

DONE!

I'm so happy that this little girl of mine is back to being her sweet, thoughtful, lovable self! I'm so glad the marbles reward system is working so well for her and us! I highly recommend giving this a try if you're desperate for a way to improve your child's behavior and listening skills! It worked for us! :))

LO's Big Surprise!

Hello out there! Yes, it's been quite some time since my last post, and I do apologize for that. Things have been quite hectic around here since LO started Kindergarten last month! The great news is she's really loving her new school and she's adjusted incredibly well to her new routine. Mommy, on the other hand? Notsomuch. I haven't seen 6:30 AM on my alarm clock consistently for probably over 10 years! So this has been a big adjustment for me, too! But I must admit I'm really LOVING the special Mommy/Chase time every day while LO's at school. Things have been a bit busy lately since I've taken on several new roles with LO's school, but I'm hoping that'll start to even out a bit as the school year progresses. I've taken on the school newsletter, which is published four times per year. It's called a newsletter, but at an average of 13 pages per, it's a bit of a novel in my mind. ;) Additionally, I am serving as a Room Parent for LO's Kindergarten classroom. This is a LOT to take on at the beginning of the year, but I'm very excited about it! I loved doing the newsletter because it gave me an automatic "IN" with so many of the school's staff, from the librarian to the principal to the counselor and more! I know me, and if I didn't have an "in" with anyone, I wouldn't have had the courage to introduce myself and get to know the people that will be helping care for and teach my sweet girl. I'm also managing the school's Facebook page and am serving on a committee that is putting together our annual fall festival in October. Whew! It's been a busy 3 weeks! Add work, family and other commitments to that, and it's a wonder I'm able to function these days! ;)

Those of you who follow me on Twitter may have already seen this video when I tweeted it yesterday, but since I like to chronicle cool happenings with the kids on the blog, I wanted to make sure to post it here as well. Here's the backstory: About 2 weeks ago, we purchased a Balance Buddy to put on LO's bike to help her learn to ride without training wheels. Since she wasn't a big fan of learning to ride without the training wheels, we were hoping this little device would help give her the confidence she needed to get the hang of it. It's basically a little extension on the back of the bike that allows an adult to hold on and run along behind her to help her keep her balance.

I busted it out for the first time about 2 weeks ago for all of about 5 minutes before both of us were too frustrated to continue. Hubs tried it with her maybe once or twice since then for a few minutes each time, but the balance thing didn't seem to be coming too easily for her.

Fast-forward to yesterday... I had been sick in bed all weekend, but I managed to stumble out of bed and head outside to see my family for a few minutes, and was SHOCK N' AWED by what I saw! Hubs had spent about another 20 minutes with LO using the Balance Buddy, and the girl was OFF! She was all over the parking lot across the street from our house, making amazing turns, speeding her way back and forth like you wouldn't believe!!! I know I couldn't believe it! It's like it just "clicked" for her and all of a sudden, she was on her way! I seriously was amazed at how fast she was riding and how much control she had over that bike. Whoa. This girl never ceases to amaze me!!!!!

Check it out!